Wednesday, April 21
Let The Funny Stuff Begin... (when?)
My brother is really quite stupid.
Actually, its just as accurate to declare that both my brothers are really quite stupid, but its not such a good opening sentance.
At this point, any of my real-life crew who’ve ended up here will be saying “He’s quite right, he is,” while nodding sagely. In between the cries of “Why the Dickens am I reading this idiots mindless drivel when I could be (insert suitable activity here)?” They all know the limitless stupidity the other spawn of my mother can produce.
However, everyone else will be going “So what? My brother/sister/pet lobster does stupid things all the time!” But they are ants before the Godly stupidity of my brothers.
Picking on a nine-year old for being a moron is, in my experience, comparable to the people who sue McDonalds because eating sixteen gallons of grease a day has made them fat (a subject I shall no doubt mercilessly lampoon some other day), so we’ll focus on “Big Brother”, world renowned for his acts of gross cretinosity. Herein is one such tale.
Over dinner one Sunday evening, we were trying to avert the tedium by telling Little Brother all about teeth. Quite specifically, how you start with one set of teeth, loose them, and grow another. Common knowledge to most humans older than Little Brother, you’d have thought.
Preceding this conversation, Big Brother had had a tooth removed, with the result being a huge and lovely hole wherein once a tooth lay. I turned to him at this point and asked what he intended to do about said hole.
Perfectly straight faced, he declares “Grow another one!”
If you could bottle stupidity, he could start a distillery.
Right, that’s enough of your time wasted for one evening. Go home! Or try and prove me wrong in whatever shitty forum I've got up. I'm quite sure you won't...
Yes, I've finished now. Scarper.
Actually, its just as accurate to declare that both my brothers are really quite stupid, but its not such a good opening sentance.
At this point, any of my real-life crew who’ve ended up here will be saying “He’s quite right, he is,” while nodding sagely. In between the cries of “Why the Dickens am I reading this idiots mindless drivel when I could be (insert suitable activity here)?” They all know the limitless stupidity the other spawn of my mother can produce.
However, everyone else will be going “So what? My brother/sister/pet lobster does stupid things all the time!” But they are ants before the Godly stupidity of my brothers.
Picking on a nine-year old for being a moron is, in my experience, comparable to the people who sue McDonalds because eating sixteen gallons of grease a day has made them fat (a subject I shall no doubt mercilessly lampoon some other day), so we’ll focus on “Big Brother”, world renowned for his acts of gross cretinosity. Herein is one such tale.
Over dinner one Sunday evening, we were trying to avert the tedium by telling Little Brother all about teeth. Quite specifically, how you start with one set of teeth, loose them, and grow another. Common knowledge to most humans older than Little Brother, you’d have thought.
Preceding this conversation, Big Brother had had a tooth removed, with the result being a huge and lovely hole wherein once a tooth lay. I turned to him at this point and asked what he intended to do about said hole.
Perfectly straight faced, he declares “Grow another one!”
If you could bottle stupidity, he could start a distillery.
Right, that’s enough of your time wasted for one evening. Go home! Or try and prove me wrong in whatever shitty forum I've got up. I'm quite sure you won't...
Yes, I've finished now. Scarper.
