Tuesday, June 8
I Blither, Therefore I Am
So, in these troubled times of Chyld, who am I?
To my family, I am Andrew. The blackest black sheep of the family, out until ridiculous hours of the night at the pub (or "the pub", as the case may be), steadfastly not working as hard as he could, and of dubious appearence. Bitterly sarcastic, yet quite loveable.
To my friends, I am Jennings. Spawn of the family of the same name, and cursed with the same gibbering insanity of his brothers, only tempered by being vaguely intelligent. Relativly introverted, doesn't get out as often as most people, except for the odd pub trip, and the just as odd stoner trip. Talks a great wad of nonsense, yet quite loveable.
To the stoners, I am also Jennings. Will occasionly come out for a blaze, and while not the biggest toker in the world, will hold it for absolutly ages. Even more gibbering than normal, and usually unable to move easily.
To the internet, I am Chyld. Usually found with the suffix "_of_Slaanesh" blessing Black Orc with his own unique brand of parsnip-based nonsense, regularly found caressing the assorted Lance and Eskimo forums with his... hugginess, and other times updating his blog that, if two dozen people regularly read, he'd eat his balls.
Upon eBay, I am part of Fat Joey Ramirez. Originally an account designed to buy my drum kit at much cheaper rates than normal (£170? Yes please!), then extended to allow for Warhammer models, than taken over by The Mother for her spending needs, now more recently hijacked by Big Brother for (pity me) Yu Gi Oh cards. Oh sweet Jesus help...
To the musically inept, I am a metaller. Garbed in black T-shirts and loose denim, listening to bands who actually play instruments, with frontmen that do more than rap about guns and bee-atches. Keep your bling bling, I'm fine with men wearing masks and boiler suits.
To someone of the opposite sex, fictional or otherwise, I am The One. The alpha, the only, the ideal. I am he that they will fall in love with, sleep with, marry, settle down with, have children with, and die with. Well, it seems that no one I know is willing to even fall into a short-term version of this. For now, its me and My Right Hand against the world.
To the old, I am a teenager. The scourage of the country, drinking, fighting and stealing anything and everything, sleeping around like no mans business, and leeching off of the economy.
To foreigners, I am British. Cucumber sandwiches and scones all around, old boy, and lets follow George Bush to war after war after war! Fish and chips for dinner, and a jolly old round of croquet!
To those not of this world, I am human. Carbon-based, and desended from a species of monkey. Raping the planet we live on for the sake of a few fossil fuels, and still not clever enough to travel interstellar differences. Or make hover craft. Or not burn at the first sight of the sun.
To me, I am myself. My greatest ally. The only one that truly understands me, the only one that always agrees with what I say, the only one who will do exactly what I want done.
To you, I have been ripping off Yahtzee's idea for an update, because there was nothing else to write.
To my family, I am Andrew. The blackest black sheep of the family, out until ridiculous hours of the night at the pub (or "the pub", as the case may be), steadfastly not working as hard as he could, and of dubious appearence. Bitterly sarcastic, yet quite loveable.
To my friends, I am Jennings. Spawn of the family of the same name, and cursed with the same gibbering insanity of his brothers, only tempered by being vaguely intelligent. Relativly introverted, doesn't get out as often as most people, except for the odd pub trip, and the just as odd stoner trip. Talks a great wad of nonsense, yet quite loveable.
To the stoners, I am also Jennings. Will occasionly come out for a blaze, and while not the biggest toker in the world, will hold it for absolutly ages. Even more gibbering than normal, and usually unable to move easily.
To the internet, I am Chyld. Usually found with the suffix "_of_Slaanesh" blessing Black Orc with his own unique brand of parsnip-based nonsense, regularly found caressing the assorted Lance and Eskimo forums with his... hugginess, and other times updating his blog that, if two dozen people regularly read, he'd eat his balls.
Upon eBay, I am part of Fat Joey Ramirez. Originally an account designed to buy my drum kit at much cheaper rates than normal (£170? Yes please!), then extended to allow for Warhammer models, than taken over by The Mother for her spending needs, now more recently hijacked by Big Brother for (pity me) Yu Gi Oh cards. Oh sweet Jesus help...
To the musically inept, I am a metaller. Garbed in black T-shirts and loose denim, listening to bands who actually play instruments, with frontmen that do more than rap about guns and bee-atches. Keep your bling bling, I'm fine with men wearing masks and boiler suits.
To someone of the opposite sex, fictional or otherwise, I am The One. The alpha, the only, the ideal. I am he that they will fall in love with, sleep with, marry, settle down with, have children with, and die with. Well, it seems that no one I know is willing to even fall into a short-term version of this. For now, its me and My Right Hand against the world.
To the old, I am a teenager. The scourage of the country, drinking, fighting and stealing anything and everything, sleeping around like no mans business, and leeching off of the economy.
To foreigners, I am British. Cucumber sandwiches and scones all around, old boy, and lets follow George Bush to war after war after war! Fish and chips for dinner, and a jolly old round of croquet!
To those not of this world, I am human. Carbon-based, and desended from a species of monkey. Raping the planet we live on for the sake of a few fossil fuels, and still not clever enough to travel interstellar differences. Or make hover craft. Or not burn at the first sight of the sun.
To me, I am myself. My greatest ally. The only one that truly understands me, the only one that always agrees with what I say, the only one who will do exactly what I want done.
To you, I have been ripping off Yahtzee's idea for an update, because there was nothing else to write.
