Tuesday, July 13
The Barge: Days Two and Three
One day into the week, one day into the barge holiday. Nothing exciting has happened yet, so you'll have to read on. Hop to it...
Get on with it! Yes, get on with it!
Day Two (06/07/04)
9:15am
Its very hard to juggle a pad of paper, a 288 page rulebook, 2 litres of water, a croissnt and half a bacon sarnie at the same time. (CN: No, not literally!)
Woke up at 4:30, (somehow) fell asleep again woke up at 8:30, then retreated to the front deck of the boar with the ladies to look at ducks. And naturally, since I was topless, an entire boatful of old ladies sailed past...
2:58pm
Really, I should have bothered my fat arse to write something earlier. But to be honest, I couldn't be arsed.
We stopped at a sort of canal-y service station, to take on water for the boat, an pints in a pub for us. The couples decided to stay on board and make tasty sandwiches, bless their cotten socks.
I've finally found a good skull and crossbones flag to replace thE crazy-ass Scottish flag hanging from my bed. It'll go right at home with Henry - both of them have evil red eyes.
Chyld Notes: Its hanging there right now, looking as if it has always belonged there. I only had a Scottish flag, because I let Mama Jennings to get me somthing, and "it was cheap". Despite me having no Scottish heiritage whatsoever.
Still need to find a cool presenty gubbins for Big Brother though, he did/is uploading this/last weeks updates. I hate having to write outside the timeframe people will be reading in, it mucks up your tenses royally...
3:42pm
So, we've gone from "lying on my bed with TinyOne" to "stopping the boat because the engine's smoking." Lovely. This bodeth not good.
4:38pm
Rugby. Home for many years to the one known as Yahtzee, and city of birth of Chyld himself. We're here. I've gone from "back to lying in bed with TinyOne" to "helping moor the boat" to "We can't moor here, its for taking in water only!". And I was nice and relaxed and all.
(CN: Can we see anything going on yet? Chyld lying in bed with a woman? Doesn't happen often...)
Once we stop, a man is coming to look at our smoky engine. We did find some shorts entangled in the propellar, but their removal didn't help much. Ho hum.
CN: I missed out a huge wodge of time here, so here's the events of the time:
-Me and TinyOne started furtivly hugging.
-We stopped for dinner, in this case jacket potatoes.
-My cold blossomed into a fever, with me talking no sense at all. Well, more so than normal.
-I took paracetemol for it.
_Brian and TinyOne ran off to discuss the prom, me, and how he fancied the pants off of her.
As Soulfly sang, no hope, no fear. I had no fear in this case...
10:27pm
Taking the paracetemol earlier did make the feverish gibbering go away, but it did stop me drinking for four hours. I missed primetime drinking time. I've only been at it for half an hour.
(CN: In this case, I missed Apple Sourz drinking. Apple Sourz are the nicest alcahol drink in the world, sweet shots of something that tastes like sour apple sweets, but gets you pissed at light speed. Bugger.)
I've lost my voice. That's sodding great. I can't really ward off verbal attacks, I can't sing along badly to cheesy rock songs with the lads, et cetera. I sound like a dying bullfrog that's been kicked in the froggy balls if I try to talk normally. Whispering hurts too. Am I going to be mute for this whole trip?
CN: What I've tactfully missed out here is the return of Brian and TinyOne. They had vanished for two hours, and everyone had started to think they'd gone off and done the bad thing. Nope. I specifically asked her. First sign of jealousy from either one of us, something that carried on for days afterwards. But I told her that I liked her, she'd already told me as such, and... it begun. What I do or don't do with my friends in my bed is none of your business. Now...
Day Three (07/07/04)
10:52am
Spent last night under the stars with TinyOne, which resulted in AmyJay wondering where her roommates had gone, and several raised eyebrows from everyone else.
For the record, we did nothing under the stars last night. Take that any way you will.
(CN: Of course, innuendo or otherwise, this was the first time spent sleeping in the same bed as a woman. Gravy!)
First glass-cut of the trip was greeted by a howl of pain from Amy#2. I could see a whole lotta blood from where I was. Whole Lotta Blood, sounds like a black metal band covering Led Zepplin songs...
We're turning around in about an hour or two. That's quite sad, I've only just started, and we're already facing the finale already. Well, live it up, there's ages to go yet...
3:25pm
Is it semi obvious from these notes that I quite like TinyOne? Et vice versa? Is this not obvious from the text? The constant cuddling? The Day One girly chat you didn't hear? OK, stick to the constant cuddling. And the fact that someone earlier actually said "Chyld, stop groping your girlfriend for five minutes!" *rolls eyes*
(CN: Well, that and the extra DVD footage you're reading now. Quite welcome.)
So how come Brian seems quite oblivious to this?
You'd have thought he'd had enough of messing around with those labelled "my women" after the prom. You'd also have thought the US president could go five minutes without starting a war. And he has the audacity to give me the evils!
(CN: What he had been doing before, I came along, and started doing better, to a more willing recipiant. Ro-may-oh...)
Other than that, nothing to report. A game of Monopoly, an about-turn to head home, a glass of warm Ribena for the throat, and some improvement in my voice. We'll have to wait for the drinking to begin before interesting stuff happens...
9:30pm
Well, after I got to the "knife my good friend Brian" phase of unhingment, Bubbles decided to talk to him, to the effect of "you're being difficult, leave her alone." He wasn't happy. Right now, he's off somewhere soaking. Great. Now, its just a matter of telling DannyDuck. That's going to be hard.
We can't sleep out again, since its raining.
CN: Brian nearly resolved the Danny problem for us, Bubbles only just stopped him in time. Quite literally. She then told DannyDuck herself, which is good, as I didn't get a punch in the face for my troubles.)
Before we went properly to bed, us the Unofficial Third Couple and the Assistant Resident Couple ran off to catch forty winks in the 'ladies' room. NOT A HORNY ORGY. However, the masses watching Red Dwarf seemed to think otherwise, and sent trainee tabloid photographers to catch some money shots. I'm sure there's a picture somewhere of me groping TinyOne's arse. And I need to find that picture, and frame it.
Get on with it! Yes, get on with it!
Day Two (06/07/04)
9:15am
Its very hard to juggle a pad of paper, a 288 page rulebook, 2 litres of water, a croissnt and half a bacon sarnie at the same time. (CN: No, not literally!)
Woke up at 4:30, (somehow) fell asleep again woke up at 8:30, then retreated to the front deck of the boar with the ladies to look at ducks. And naturally, since I was topless, an entire boatful of old ladies sailed past...
2:58pm
Really, I should have bothered my fat arse to write something earlier. But to be honest, I couldn't be arsed.
We stopped at a sort of canal-y service station, to take on water for the boat, an pints in a pub for us. The couples decided to stay on board and make tasty sandwiches, bless their cotten socks.
I've finally found a good skull and crossbones flag to replace thE crazy-ass Scottish flag hanging from my bed. It'll go right at home with Henry - both of them have evil red eyes.
Chyld Notes: Its hanging there right now, looking as if it has always belonged there. I only had a Scottish flag, because I let Mama Jennings to get me somthing, and "it was cheap". Despite me having no Scottish heiritage whatsoever.
Still need to find a cool presenty gubbins for Big Brother though, he did/is uploading this/last weeks updates. I hate having to write outside the timeframe people will be reading in, it mucks up your tenses royally...
3:42pm
So, we've gone from "lying on my bed with TinyOne" to "stopping the boat because the engine's smoking." Lovely. This bodeth not good.
4:38pm
Rugby. Home for many years to the one known as Yahtzee, and city of birth of Chyld himself. We're here. I've gone from "back to lying in bed with TinyOne" to "helping moor the boat" to "We can't moor here, its for taking in water only!". And I was nice and relaxed and all.
(CN: Can we see anything going on yet? Chyld lying in bed with a woman? Doesn't happen often...)
Once we stop, a man is coming to look at our smoky engine. We did find some shorts entangled in the propellar, but their removal didn't help much. Ho hum.
CN: I missed out a huge wodge of time here, so here's the events of the time:
-Me and TinyOne started furtivly hugging.
-We stopped for dinner, in this case jacket potatoes.
-My cold blossomed into a fever, with me talking no sense at all. Well, more so than normal.
-I took paracetemol for it.
_Brian and TinyOne ran off to discuss the prom, me, and how he fancied the pants off of her.
As Soulfly sang, no hope, no fear. I had no fear in this case...
10:27pm
Taking the paracetemol earlier did make the feverish gibbering go away, but it did stop me drinking for four hours. I missed primetime drinking time. I've only been at it for half an hour.
(CN: In this case, I missed Apple Sourz drinking. Apple Sourz are the nicest alcahol drink in the world, sweet shots of something that tastes like sour apple sweets, but gets you pissed at light speed. Bugger.)
I've lost my voice. That's sodding great. I can't really ward off verbal attacks, I can't sing along badly to cheesy rock songs with the lads, et cetera. I sound like a dying bullfrog that's been kicked in the froggy balls if I try to talk normally. Whispering hurts too. Am I going to be mute for this whole trip?
CN: What I've tactfully missed out here is the return of Brian and TinyOne. They had vanished for two hours, and everyone had started to think they'd gone off and done the bad thing. Nope. I specifically asked her. First sign of jealousy from either one of us, something that carried on for days afterwards. But I told her that I liked her, she'd already told me as such, and... it begun. What I do or don't do with my friends in my bed is none of your business. Now...
Day Three (07/07/04)
10:52am
Spent last night under the stars with TinyOne, which resulted in AmyJay wondering where her roommates had gone, and several raised eyebrows from everyone else.
For the record, we did nothing under the stars last night. Take that any way you will.
(CN: Of course, innuendo or otherwise, this was the first time spent sleeping in the same bed as a woman. Gravy!)
First glass-cut of the trip was greeted by a howl of pain from Amy#2. I could see a whole lotta blood from where I was. Whole Lotta Blood, sounds like a black metal band covering Led Zepplin songs...
We're turning around in about an hour or two. That's quite sad, I've only just started, and we're already facing the finale already. Well, live it up, there's ages to go yet...
3:25pm
Is it semi obvious from these notes that I quite like TinyOne? Et vice versa? Is this not obvious from the text? The constant cuddling? The Day One girly chat you didn't hear? OK, stick to the constant cuddling. And the fact that someone earlier actually said "Chyld, stop groping your girlfriend for five minutes!" *rolls eyes*
(CN: Well, that and the extra DVD footage you're reading now. Quite welcome.)
So how come Brian seems quite oblivious to this?
You'd have thought he'd had enough of messing around with those labelled "my women" after the prom. You'd also have thought the US president could go five minutes without starting a war. And he has the audacity to give me the evils!
(CN: What he had been doing before, I came along, and started doing better, to a more willing recipiant. Ro-may-oh...)
Other than that, nothing to report. A game of Monopoly, an about-turn to head home, a glass of warm Ribena for the throat, and some improvement in my voice. We'll have to wait for the drinking to begin before interesting stuff happens...
9:30pm
Well, after I got to the "knife my good friend Brian" phase of unhingment, Bubbles decided to talk to him, to the effect of "you're being difficult, leave her alone." He wasn't happy. Right now, he's off somewhere soaking. Great. Now, its just a matter of telling DannyDuck. That's going to be hard.
We can't sleep out again, since its raining.
CN: Brian nearly resolved the Danny problem for us, Bubbles only just stopped him in time. Quite literally. She then told DannyDuck herself, which is good, as I didn't get a punch in the face for my troubles.)
Before we went properly to bed, us the Unofficial Third Couple and the Assistant Resident Couple ran off to catch forty winks in the 'ladies' room. NOT A HORNY ORGY. However, the masses watching Red Dwarf seemed to think otherwise, and sent trainee tabloid photographers to catch some money shots. I'm sure there's a picture somewhere of me groping TinyOne's arse. And I need to find that picture, and frame it.
