Tuesday, September 21
Freshers Week Diary Part Two
Alright, boys and girls? Still not bleeding from your eyeballs yet? Well, we've got another easy cop-out update another real treat for you, the latter half of last weeks debauchery and stuff.
Shouts out to all the people doing Creative Writing who decided to come and see what the hell I was rattling on about earlier today, by the way. Don't worry, it might actually be funny tomorrow...
Right, just to remind you, I went to bed on the Tuesday night utterly hammered...
Wednesday 15th
7:13am
Of all the fucking mornings to have a fire alarm...
3:19pm
Finally get out of bed, recovered from last night. I've no idea how much I ended up drinking, but I've never ended up with a hangover that's kept me in bed until three in the afternoon, even after my 18th.
My debit card hasn't arrived yet...
7:12pm
It took nearly twelve hours in bed, half a meal and one shower to do it, but I've finally recovered from the most apocalyptic hangover in the history of my liver. It trumped both my 18th birthday party and New Years Eve '01 together, with one hand tied behind its back. SmugElf did warn me of this, but you gotta try.
And this is how hard I tried, apparently...
-Three pints of cider.
-Two shots of Apple Sourz.
-Four pints of Chyld-made Snakebite.
-Nine shots of lemon flavoured Smirnoff.
-A good portion of a small joint.
-Fuck knows what else on top of that...
And its all good now. Might be going out in a minute. I can start with a can of Fosters I got given for putting up some shelves, inflating a sofa and hanging a poster...
10:09pm
Shock and awe rocked B Block, Lambert Hall earlier, as someone actually set up the Internet. Promptly, I snuck in, checked the forums were ticking over, and reprimanded some idiot for nagging me for updates. I'm not superhuman.
Also, I've actually chanced a can of Fosters...
1:43am
Oh dear. You probably won't know that K80 gave me this class-arse drinking game for my birthday, which involved rolling three dice, each with a different drinking game on each side, mixing up the rolled drinks in a glass, and drinking it. Well,we didn't have all the drinks, so we made ones with the drinks we have, and we've been using them for hours.
As a result, I'm totally hammered. Again.
Then, some girl phoned me, asking me round. It didn't occur to me that this was, in fact, one of the girls on the penthouse with me, which shows the effect of random mixers on drunken webmasters.
So theres me, throwning on a shirt, gargling mouthwash, whacking on afershave (expensive stuff), then running off to A block - to find Ils, one of the saavy metallers from a few floors down, garbed on a skirt...
Oh dear. Gullible may be my middle name, but we've taken it to new heights tonight...
Expect another hangover report, I'm that hammered...
Thursday 16th
"joe, he is totaly hot he has a properlovely luchus body, tonight i'll have my way with him when he sleeps round."
Attributed to Cheets on his 19th. IE, today.
3:03pm
I've not actually been away from the computer for very long, its just that I haven't had a free moment to type anything. So what's been going on?
-Woke up, only a little hungover. Didn't have breakfast, tidied up after last night.
-Finally got my bank card, which only told me the obvious. Nothing in there. Ah well.
-Bought some things in the Co-op.
-Started registering my laptop to get on the net. Its still waiting to give me a proper IP address, so I can do crazy things like actually upload updates and shit like that.
-I'm not due to pit my Salamanders against... my Salamanders... in a game of Warhammer 40k. The things you do for people whose birthday it is...
4:15pm
In the middle of my thrashing at 40k (I'm sure the sides are unequal, as Cheets hasn't played since he was 13, and he's thrashing me), it occured to me that restarting my laptop might help. So I did.
Now I've got Google staring at me.
It seems I've finally cracked it.
4:39pm
Can't get MSN Messanger to work, however...
I'll start uploading this next week, for the sake of consistancy.
7:20pm
Got MSN Messanger working, and found to my horror that I really am the center of the universe. Since apparently, its not been the same since I left back home down south. It sucks, but since everyone else is running off soon...
Time for a party tho. Just did a beer run with Cheets and his evily loud bass system...
9:28pm
Two Snakebites in a row? Fucking hell, its a wonder I can keep my dinner down now. But I've done worse...
Friday 17th
12:38pm
You know the old story, right? The girls who you like/like you are always taken, and the girls who aren't taken don't like you. Its what I've found constantly within the last week.
Blimey, I've been here a week? Crazy...
Saturday 18th
3:40pm
Don't think there was a lot to say earlier really. Went out, got drunk, came back. Nothing wrong with that.
Got screamed at over e-mail by the bitch I call ex-girlfriend. I've never seen so many swear words in one sentence. And all because I sent her a preview of this diary! Women, they're very strange. It did however remind me that I've gone a very long time without thinking that all of humanity sucks. Quite the opposite.
Its funny, because the amount of interruptions I've had, I finished writing this short paragraph an hour after I started it...
Sunday 19th
12:25pm
Once again, I've woken up apocalyptically hungover, and I've just been told that something I smoked last night was not, in fact, a joint, but was in fact a teabag. Yums...
Hopefully, this shows just how hammered I was last night. I was introduced to the delights of Spiders nightclub, the local metallers bar. And fuck me, its cheap. £1.20 for a pint? Bliss. Plus:
1.) Its perhaps the only bar which could actually serve a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster with a straight face.
2.) For £3.50, you can get a shot of just about everything stuck in a pint glass, coloured green, and served to you. Its called a Green Monster, and was the only thing I had to drink last night apart from a half of cider.
Methinx I'm getting a membership ASAP...
5:38pm
Just got back from the Satanic ritual known as Eating Dinner, a process comprarable to the Holocaust, only pitting the poor unwitting students as the murderees, and using a bit less gas.
(Apologies for bad taste)
Went out and played my first game of footie for several months, scored a goal for the first time in years, and actually enjoyed it for the first time... erm... ever? I might even want to repeat the exercise some time in the future. Disturbing.
Monday 20th
2:06pm
Last entry for my uni diaries. Of course, you can now find new ones on the LiveJournal, but it'll be time for good ol' humour again.
Last night was the first proper stoning session. Imagine about eight people on my balcony, which wouldn't be big enough to put a mattress on, passing around a joint. Good times. Also saw Phoenix Nights, which was extremly freaky at the time but on reflection, merely hilariously funny.
This did mean, of course, that I was weedovered throughout my first tutorial. Did befriend a guy called Jim, who's taking the same course. See, good!
Also, my bank card came, with a cool £1k on it. That's drink sorted until Christmas then. I'm very happy.
With that, good day.
Shouts out to all the people doing Creative Writing who decided to come and see what the hell I was rattling on about earlier today, by the way. Don't worry, it might actually be funny tomorrow...
Right, just to remind you, I went to bed on the Tuesday night utterly hammered...
Wednesday 15th
7:13am
Of all the fucking mornings to have a fire alarm...
3:19pm
Finally get out of bed, recovered from last night. I've no idea how much I ended up drinking, but I've never ended up with a hangover that's kept me in bed until three in the afternoon, even after my 18th.
My debit card hasn't arrived yet...
7:12pm
It took nearly twelve hours in bed, half a meal and one shower to do it, but I've finally recovered from the most apocalyptic hangover in the history of my liver. It trumped both my 18th birthday party and New Years Eve '01 together, with one hand tied behind its back. SmugElf did warn me of this, but you gotta try.
And this is how hard I tried, apparently...
-Three pints of cider.
-Two shots of Apple Sourz.
-Four pints of Chyld-made Snakebite.
-Nine shots of lemon flavoured Smirnoff.
-A good portion of a small joint.
-Fuck knows what else on top of that...
And its all good now. Might be going out in a minute. I can start with a can of Fosters I got given for putting up some shelves, inflating a sofa and hanging a poster...
10:09pm
Shock and awe rocked B Block, Lambert Hall earlier, as someone actually set up the Internet. Promptly, I snuck in, checked the forums were ticking over, and reprimanded some idiot for nagging me for updates. I'm not superhuman.
Also, I've actually chanced a can of Fosters...
1:43am
Oh dear. You probably won't know that K80 gave me this class-arse drinking game for my birthday, which involved rolling three dice, each with a different drinking game on each side, mixing up the rolled drinks in a glass, and drinking it. Well,we didn't have all the drinks, so we made ones with the drinks we have, and we've been using them for hours.
As a result, I'm totally hammered. Again.
Then, some girl phoned me, asking me round. It didn't occur to me that this was, in fact, one of the girls on the penthouse with me, which shows the effect of random mixers on drunken webmasters.
So theres me, throwning on a shirt, gargling mouthwash, whacking on afershave (expensive stuff), then running off to A block - to find Ils, one of the saavy metallers from a few floors down, garbed on a skirt...
Oh dear. Gullible may be my middle name, but we've taken it to new heights tonight...
Expect another hangover report, I'm that hammered...
Thursday 16th
"joe, he is totaly hot he has a properlovely luchus body, tonight i'll have my way with him when he sleeps round."
Attributed to Cheets on his 19th. IE, today.
3:03pm
I've not actually been away from the computer for very long, its just that I haven't had a free moment to type anything. So what's been going on?
-Woke up, only a little hungover. Didn't have breakfast, tidied up after last night.
-Finally got my bank card, which only told me the obvious. Nothing in there. Ah well.
-Bought some things in the Co-op.
-Started registering my laptop to get on the net. Its still waiting to give me a proper IP address, so I can do crazy things like actually upload updates and shit like that.
-I'm not due to pit my Salamanders against... my Salamanders... in a game of Warhammer 40k. The things you do for people whose birthday it is...
4:15pm
In the middle of my thrashing at 40k (I'm sure the sides are unequal, as Cheets hasn't played since he was 13, and he's thrashing me), it occured to me that restarting my laptop might help. So I did.
Now I've got Google staring at me.
It seems I've finally cracked it.
4:39pm
Can't get MSN Messanger to work, however...
I'll start uploading this next week, for the sake of consistancy.
7:20pm
Got MSN Messanger working, and found to my horror that I really am the center of the universe. Since apparently, its not been the same since I left back home down south. It sucks, but since everyone else is running off soon...
Time for a party tho. Just did a beer run with Cheets and his evily loud bass system...
9:28pm
Two Snakebites in a row? Fucking hell, its a wonder I can keep my dinner down now. But I've done worse...
Friday 17th
12:38pm
You know the old story, right? The girls who you like/like you are always taken, and the girls who aren't taken don't like you. Its what I've found constantly within the last week.
Blimey, I've been here a week? Crazy...
Saturday 18th
3:40pm
Don't think there was a lot to say earlier really. Went out, got drunk, came back. Nothing wrong with that.
Got screamed at over e-mail by the bitch I call ex-girlfriend. I've never seen so many swear words in one sentence. And all because I sent her a preview of this diary! Women, they're very strange. It did however remind me that I've gone a very long time without thinking that all of humanity sucks. Quite the opposite.
Its funny, because the amount of interruptions I've had, I finished writing this short paragraph an hour after I started it...
Sunday 19th
12:25pm
Once again, I've woken up apocalyptically hungover, and I've just been told that something I smoked last night was not, in fact, a joint, but was in fact a teabag. Yums...
Hopefully, this shows just how hammered I was last night. I was introduced to the delights of Spiders nightclub, the local metallers bar. And fuck me, its cheap. £1.20 for a pint? Bliss. Plus:
1.) Its perhaps the only bar which could actually serve a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster with a straight face.
2.) For £3.50, you can get a shot of just about everything stuck in a pint glass, coloured green, and served to you. Its called a Green Monster, and was the only thing I had to drink last night apart from a half of cider.
Methinx I'm getting a membership ASAP...
5:38pm
Just got back from the Satanic ritual known as Eating Dinner, a process comprarable to the Holocaust, only pitting the poor unwitting students as the murderees, and using a bit less gas.
(Apologies for bad taste)
Went out and played my first game of footie for several months, scored a goal for the first time in years, and actually enjoyed it for the first time... erm... ever? I might even want to repeat the exercise some time in the future. Disturbing.
Monday 20th
2:06pm
Last entry for my uni diaries. Of course, you can now find new ones on the LiveJournal, but it'll be time for good ol' humour again.
Last night was the first proper stoning session. Imagine about eight people on my balcony, which wouldn't be big enough to put a mattress on, passing around a joint. Good times. Also saw Phoenix Nights, which was extremly freaky at the time but on reflection, merely hilariously funny.
This did mean, of course, that I was weedovered throughout my first tutorial. Did befriend a guy called Jim, who's taking the same course. See, good!
Also, my bank card came, with a cool £1k on it. That's drink sorted until Christmas then. I'm very happy.
With that, good day.
