Sunday, November 14
Rantings of A Drunken Man...
OK, I'm just going to rant over what comes to mind for now because I think all ten of you still reading need to have some reason to come back. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, this is the result of one can of Strongbow, and half an hour wasted on Google. First topic now, my springboard if you will.
Where do those inane forwarded e-mails come from?
You know the ones I mean - a friend sends them to you, you're expected to fill them in, and forward them to your friends. On average, your friends aren't likely to stay friends much longer if you actually forward them on, because they'll be as annoyed as you.
But where do these quizzes actually germinate from?
The only examples I've seen on the Internet were either the 200 questions Yahtzee savaged once, and the several million Heccubus keeps mutilating quietly on his own blog (I'm not telling where, he'll get cross and poke me with spoons). I spent half an hour searching for one I could fob you all off with, and nothing. Except an amusing "are you a geek?" quiz, which was 500 questions long, and would require about six updates to cover.
Do they really germinate from nothing? Does some sad soneofabitch really go "I think I'll send all my friends a list of 100x inane questions (they always come in multiples of 100, don't they?), and tell them to forward said questions, with answers, to all their friends! What fun!" These are the people who belive that the wobbly banner saying "YOU'VE WON $68MILLION! CLICK THIS BANNER WITHIN THREE MINUTES TO CLAIM!" will actually result in a large fortune, and that you really can excite your mate using some amaing pheremone chemical on sale from a hundred different e-mails they've somehow recieved.
That's another thing, spam. If I needed Viagra, I'd go out and get a perscription. If I needed a penis extension, I'd find a plastic surgeon. NOT THAT I DO, MAY I ADD FURTHER TO THAT! It's like regular paper-based spam - gets stuck in the recycling bin as soon as possible, and usually spat on for good measure. Only, while a million Argod leaflets can be simply picked up and stuck in a brown box, the tick box for each e-mail must be ticked, and the "Delete and Block This Crap" must be clicked. Time-wasting, my friend, time-wasting.
Banners are a lesser concern, but still in the same category. Its like large banners plastered on walls - I'll look and bear said advert in mind, not immediatly click it for its crappy wonderments. The only use I've seen for the Google advert banners sweeping Lance and Eskimo and its subsiduraries is hilarious screen-captures in forum posts.
I'm running out of things to say, so I'll grab the first topic to come to hand...
That'll do. I've got 7500 words of essay to write in three weeks. Make of that what you will...
OK, I've run out of things to say.
Breasts cunt fingering blowjobs lesbien naked nudity Olsen twins nipples anal fucking facials.
Hello dirty bastards out for porn. Welcome to my nightmare...
Where do those inane forwarded e-mails come from?
You know the ones I mean - a friend sends them to you, you're expected to fill them in, and forward them to your friends. On average, your friends aren't likely to stay friends much longer if you actually forward them on, because they'll be as annoyed as you.
But where do these quizzes actually germinate from?
The only examples I've seen on the Internet were either the 200 questions Yahtzee savaged once, and the several million Heccubus keeps mutilating quietly on his own blog (I'm not telling where, he'll get cross and poke me with spoons). I spent half an hour searching for one I could fob you all off with, and nothing. Except an amusing "are you a geek?" quiz, which was 500 questions long, and would require about six updates to cover.
Do they really germinate from nothing? Does some sad soneofabitch really go "I think I'll send all my friends a list of 100x inane questions (they always come in multiples of 100, don't they?), and tell them to forward said questions, with answers, to all their friends! What fun!" These are the people who belive that the wobbly banner saying "YOU'VE WON $68MILLION! CLICK THIS BANNER WITHIN THREE MINUTES TO CLAIM!" will actually result in a large fortune, and that you really can excite your mate using some amaing pheremone chemical on sale from a hundred different e-mails they've somehow recieved.
That's another thing, spam. If I needed Viagra, I'd go out and get a perscription. If I needed a penis extension, I'd find a plastic surgeon. NOT THAT I DO, MAY I ADD FURTHER TO THAT! It's like regular paper-based spam - gets stuck in the recycling bin as soon as possible, and usually spat on for good measure. Only, while a million Argod leaflets can be simply picked up and stuck in a brown box, the tick box for each e-mail must be ticked, and the "Delete and Block This Crap" must be clicked. Time-wasting, my friend, time-wasting.
Banners are a lesser concern, but still in the same category. Its like large banners plastered on walls - I'll look and bear said advert in mind, not immediatly click it for its crappy wonderments. The only use I've seen for the Google advert banners sweeping Lance and Eskimo and its subsiduraries is hilarious screen-captures in forum posts.
I'm running out of things to say, so I'll grab the first topic to come to hand...
***
That'll do. I've got 7500 words of essay to write in three weeks. Make of that what you will...
***
OK, I've run out of things to say.
Breasts cunt fingering blowjobs lesbien naked nudity Olsen twins nipples anal fucking facials.
Hello dirty bastards out for porn. Welcome to my nightmare...
