Less Is More v1.6

So, for want of updates...

Today, I'm going to once again plagurise an idea from the wise and... wise Heccubus of Heccubus fame. Today, we have...

Chyld's Detailed Description of A Student Waster's Bedroom.

Forescript: I'm an oddity, in that mine is a double room. Be rest assured that my roommates is exactly the same, only with the boon of being able to see the carpet.



1.) A Poster. A good student waster needs many posters in their room. These can range from music posters (see later), to pictures of Muhammed Ali (on the opposite wall), to humerous ones such as this example. This piece, entitled "Ladies and Gentlemen", is a stereotypical view of the sorts of people a student waster can encounter on his travels through life and lectures on Subjectivity and Relativism.

2.) Mess. A well-trained student waster needs lots of this. Piles of dirty clothes, clean clothes, books, magazines, bottles, drumsticks, headphones, and who knows what else should always be present, except when the cleaner comes round. Then the mess should be relocated underneath the bed, until you get back after Greek Philosophy, where it can be returned to its natural habitat.

3.) Shelves. As long as these are filled to bursting, a student waster has free rein over what to do with these. Mine consist of (in order from top downwards):
Copies of Private Eye, an unused folder, Games Workshop books, magazines taking a break from the delights of the floor.
My army of Dwarfs.
My CDs, a few books (assorted works by Douglas Adams, George Orwell, Issac Assimov, Scott Adams, and a Slipknot biography. Y'know, the usual pretentious muck.), my Space Marine army.

4.) The Desk. This houses several vital aspects of a student wasters life. One is mess, a continuation of item 2. A computer or laptop, wired up to the Internet, is vital, for wasting time with forums, blogs, porn, or little plastic men, as to taste. If need be, you can occasionly use it to do work, although you should keep this to a bare minumum. Try not to start an essay until 36 hours before it is due in. This is the optimal length of time for essay writing.

A phone may be provided. This is exclusivly for making prank calls to other student wasters. DO NOT USE IT FOR PROPER REGULAR PHONE CALLS. This is what your mobile phone is for.

5.) Window. Notice the use of a poster in this window. This shows anyone looking into your room that you are the greatest fan of the subject of the poster in the Universe. I chose Slipknot as my subject matter, but stolen posters for student events are allowed, as is just about anything. Use your imagination.

The window also provides something to stare out of, in lieu of working. A balcony lies beyond the window, this is for smoking cigarettes ot joints. Smoking eithe in your room is acceptable, as the smoke detectors are specially designed to not detect smoke.



6.) Bed. This should not be comfortable. It is designed merely so that you do not pass out drunk on the landings. It also provides emergency storage space in times of need (see point 2).

As demonstrated, it can even be used as an emergency mess generator in itself, although mess should be relocated to the floor before sleeping, as a large cardboard box impairs optimal sleeping practise.

7.) More mess. See point 2.

8.) Bedside table. This also contains mess, and provides storage for marijuana, pennies, spare models, and sometimes underwear.

9.) Wardrobe. Clothes are the main currency of the wardrobe, although the good student waster should keep his best clothes on the floor, for optimal accses. This also stores all the bags you brought your mess up with you, as well as food you can't hide in the fridge, and don't want stolen.

There is also a sink hidden behind the wardrobe. This is primarily for washing hands, shaving, etc, although if you are hiediously desperate, or drunk, or sleepwalkig (as I was), it can be used as an emergency urinal. Considering that there is a toilet on the other side of the facing wall, this shows the desperate measures required to use this function.

OTHER EQUIPMENT NEEDED:

Money. Used for buying alcahol and weed, keeping junk food in stock, squandering on CDs, and occasionly buying textbooks.

See, I do do some updates! Now buy things from my store, before I stop being lazy and update them to make them look nicer, so you have to buy them all over again!