Tuesday, October 5
What Goes Around
Its been a long time since we've had a proper update, and I do mean
ages. By now, I'll bet the regular fanbase has started to move on, so
its time to become funny again. So I'm going to try and maintain a
Tuesday-Thursday-Sunday update schedule, at the very least from now on.
So, getting into university every day then.
The Lawns Halls, the place wot I lives at, is about three to four miles away
from the university itself. A fairly imposing distance, and one I need to walk
every single fucking day. Apart from Wednesday, which is reverentialy given to
a hungover lie-in. But what about the other days, you don't cry at all. Here
we are...
1.) Walking It.
While I've no objection to walking, really, its four miles. Four Miles. The
average human walks at about three miles an hour. Does this suggest any reason
why NOT to try it? It takes at least half an hour for me to get my arse in
gear every morning, negociating the creaky floorboards in my room, getting
dressed, and working out whether my bacon or my milk is more likely to kill
me, and therefore choosing fry-up or cereal.
Basically, I don't want to. I had to walk home on the second day, with no idea
where I was going, in the blazing sunshine. Not conductive to good health. I
have forsaken that option completly now.
HOWEVER, I insist on walking into the town where I live, if theres a trip
there to be done, for doctors appointments/shopping/robbery/etc. Its five
minutes walk away. FIVE MINUTES AND PEOPLE STILL INSIST ON DRIVING IT. Gits.
2.) Take The Bus
The more popular option for most people. Its quick, easy, and only £1.95 for a
return ticket. Less if you're using a bus pass, which I kinda need. I don't
have one, because I didn't have any money (no savings, no loan, no cannabis to
sell to CompleteAnarchy...) to pay for it with, and now I have the money, I
can't find anywhere to get the damned thing. AARGH!
Yahtzee once pontificated on being the scary man on the bus no one would sit
next to. At the time, I felt "Yeah? I'd be, but I never take the bus. What of
it?" Now I am, I find myself being that scary man. I compensate by lurking on
the top of the bus. There's something relevant in here, I'm sure.
3.) Bike
Ah yes, my bike. Retired from helping me deliver the parish's papers, now
occasionly pressed into service as my lift in when I want to save two quid.
And I kinda need to, now. I've spent £260 of my £1110 loan, and that's before
they take money for bus passes, tuition fees, etc. Fuck and whoops. So, bike
it is.
It only takes 20 minutes, gives me exercise, and is totally free. Apart from
the £8 portable bike repair kit I bought because the front brakes fucked up.
Now if I try braking, I make like Superman and go flying over the handlebars.
So, moving on...
4.) The Cheetsmobile.
Free like a bike, quicker than bus, only marred by a bass system that could be
used by the police in a seige. Seriously, its so loud, the optimum place to
listen from for best sound quality is in the car behind. Not an option I can
take very often...
4.5) Other Cars
Yes, other cars do exist, may I add as a footnote. However, no named
characters have one, so it doesn't help.
5.)Taximobile
The ultimate in getting back to/from clubs at ridiculously late hours, the
local taxis are among the fastest way of getting places. If you remember to
order it about two hours beforehand. And if the taxi service has any taxis
avaliable (read: if they can be arsed). And if the taxidriver isn't late. If
he is, a small wait of about 5 million years should be added into your
schedule.
However, you can't go far wrong with taxi driver banter. I've had
conversations that have ranged from the quality of the local nightlife, the
intricacies of being a taxi driver (did you know that they have to pay
for the signs on the side themselves?), to basically calling one of my mates a
virginal wanker. Good stuff in context.
If that was funny, give me money.
New Henry Skull Comic: Breaking Even... Or Odd
ages. By now, I'll bet the regular fanbase has started to move on, so
its time to become funny again. So I'm going to try and maintain a
Tuesday-Thursday-Sunday update schedule, at the very least from now on.
So, getting into university every day then.
The Lawns Halls, the place wot I lives at, is about three to four miles away
from the university itself. A fairly imposing distance, and one I need to walk
every single fucking day. Apart from Wednesday, which is reverentialy given to
a hungover lie-in. But what about the other days, you don't cry at all. Here
we are...
1.) Walking It.
While I've no objection to walking, really, its four miles. Four Miles. The
average human walks at about three miles an hour. Does this suggest any reason
why NOT to try it? It takes at least half an hour for me to get my arse in
gear every morning, negociating the creaky floorboards in my room, getting
dressed, and working out whether my bacon or my milk is more likely to kill
me, and therefore choosing fry-up or cereal.
Basically, I don't want to. I had to walk home on the second day, with no idea
where I was going, in the blazing sunshine. Not conductive to good health. I
have forsaken that option completly now.
HOWEVER, I insist on walking into the town where I live, if theres a trip
there to be done, for doctors appointments/shopping/robbery/etc. Its five
minutes walk away. FIVE MINUTES AND PEOPLE STILL INSIST ON DRIVING IT. Gits.
2.) Take The Bus
The more popular option for most people. Its quick, easy, and only £1.95 for a
return ticket. Less if you're using a bus pass, which I kinda need. I don't
have one, because I didn't have any money (no savings, no loan, no cannabis to
sell to CompleteAnarchy...) to pay for it with, and now I have the money, I
can't find anywhere to get the damned thing. AARGH!
Yahtzee once pontificated on being the scary man on the bus no one would sit
next to. At the time, I felt "Yeah? I'd be, but I never take the bus. What of
it?" Now I am, I find myself being that scary man. I compensate by lurking on
the top of the bus. There's something relevant in here, I'm sure.
3.) Bike
Ah yes, my bike. Retired from helping me deliver the parish's papers, now
occasionly pressed into service as my lift in when I want to save two quid.
And I kinda need to, now. I've spent £260 of my £1110 loan, and that's before
they take money for bus passes, tuition fees, etc. Fuck and whoops. So, bike
it is.
It only takes 20 minutes, gives me exercise, and is totally free. Apart from
the £8 portable bike repair kit I bought because the front brakes fucked up.
Now if I try braking, I make like Superman and go flying over the handlebars.
So, moving on...
4.) The Cheetsmobile.
Free like a bike, quicker than bus, only marred by a bass system that could be
used by the police in a seige. Seriously, its so loud, the optimum place to
listen from for best sound quality is in the car behind. Not an option I can
take very often...
4.5) Other Cars
Yes, other cars do exist, may I add as a footnote. However, no named
characters have one, so it doesn't help.
5.)Taximobile
The ultimate in getting back to/from clubs at ridiculously late hours, the
local taxis are among the fastest way of getting places. If you remember to
order it about two hours beforehand. And if the taxi service has any taxis
avaliable (read: if they can be arsed). And if the taxidriver isn't late. If
he is, a small wait of about 5 million years should be added into your
schedule.
However, you can't go far wrong with taxi driver banter. I've had
conversations that have ranged from the quality of the local nightlife, the
intricacies of being a taxi driver (did you know that they have to pay
for the signs on the side themselves?), to basically calling one of my mates a
virginal wanker. Good stuff in context.
If that was funny, give me money.
New Henry Skull Comic: Breaking Even... Or Odd
