Wednesday, July 14
The Barge: Days Four and Five
OK, so now we're past the bulk of the week. Having warded all competition for TinyOne on the barge and taken point as her man, we move into the hive of activity that was the last day and a bit. All joy if your idea is "the webmaster getting cuddles"...
(its midnight, still technically wednesday!)
Day Four (08/07/04)
12:05pm
Very late morning. Woke up at half nine, sadly alone. This was soon corrected.
If I wrote everything I've been thinking, these notes would turn into a 'life suxx!!!!11' rant, boring to both the bargemates constantly reading these notes, and the people who will read it on the 'net. So I won't.
Problem is, all the funny things happening on this barge are in-jokes, Shouting "In The Morning!" would be very amusing to 10/11ths of the barge (CN: Bubbles hated it with a loathing fury, but everyone blamed it on PMT), but would mean nothing to, say, the Dutch.
What we can laugh about is when I emptied the rubbish earlier just now. The wind caught the bag ad enptied half the rubbish into the canal...
1:40pm
We're back at a point wher there was a fence halfway across the canal on Day One. An odd sight, and a mark of how near the end we are.
2:25pm
"Cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies
Batman's present thought patterns.
We've just had lunch, fresh baked cookies are cooling, and gropings have been introduced to keep eager hands at bay.
And apart from an in-depth discussion on disability, and salad for lunch, there's nothing to report. I'm only writing because The Smug Elf told me to.
Need to get on with:
-Choosing 2000pts of Dwarfs
-Having a shower
-Tactless groping!
-Listening to Slipknot.
Chyld Notes: Check, check, very check, check.
5:15pm
I'm sure there's an update to be got out of the fact that AmyJay fancies at least one person out of every film she's seen. And she's seen a lot of films...
CN: Still waiting for that...
6:36pm
Off to the pub. Back later...
CN: For dinner. Tasty pie. But, with typical aplomb, the one time I not only have enough money in the first place, but am actually offering to buy a round, we get nagged back onto the barge by the women. IDIOTS, its never going to happen ever again...
12:00am
Off to bed, after tasty pies in pub, mass drinking in the boat, and several embaressing pictures of mullets. My mullet, it seems. Meh.
No horny groping tonight - AmyJay's been a-moaning to Bubbles about it. What goes around etc, it seems.
Last night, it seems. Quick wee, not enough drinking on my behalf. However, the Fifth Age of Chyld has begun, thanks to one girly chat and lots of horny groping. Hormones to the rescue, it seems.
(CN: I think it was The Smug Elf that said "Chyld, you know those special rare moments you keep to yourself? That was one of them...". Also, it was obvious then that me and TinyOne were/are going out. HAppy times beckon...)
As an interesting sidenote, this shows that I am well over K80 now. I bet my boxers she'll turn around and say "Oh Chyld! I love you really!" Well, she can Fuck Right Off(c). I've now found a Real Woman(tm). Happy happy happy...
There might be a summery tomorrow, there might not. For now, peachy bum cheeks...
CN: Well, it seems K80 is happy for us as a couple. Its only a matter of time, however...
Day Five (09/07/04)
7:57am
Woken from an odd dream about (fairly recent Sega game) Shenmue, and my shop being a foodstore, by Amy#2 hollering "WAKE UP!" like a small effeminate foghorn. Naturally, soon as both of the girls proved they were awake by similar hollering, they fell back asleep.
Scratch that, AmyJay's just started babbling on about toads...
8:36am
Right, summery.
To be perfectly honest, I was completly joking when I thought "In a room with two single girls? Threesomes!" Obviously, I didn't get to partake in any actual threesomes, but I have got a girlfriend out of one of them. Just like mother said, rather randomly.
We're here now, for some reason.
CN: 'Here' being the place we started. Its true, before we left, my mum did say "Why don't you ask out that (TinyOne) girl, then?" I said no, because I didn't see it happening, and DannyDuck would kill me. For the record, he IS out to kill me...
9:40am
Still no sign of g...
(interupted)
10:12am
I was just writing about how we still weren't getting off the boat, and Sod's dad showed up to render lifts to Tadpole, The Elf that is Smug, and me. Its a bit hard to write in this much space.
That week went quickly. And I haven't written as much as I did in my America Diaries. But then again, I didn't have the extra four days, the bizarre new experiences, and I could tell the lady I loved sweet nothings to her face, as opposed to writing them on scraps of paper and not showing them to her.
On such a note, K80 has left me alone for a whole week, which has helped me not be angry 24/7. Think I'll let the daft cow start annoying me soon.
Made sure that Brian and I parted on good terms. He's a good bloke, just that he has the same taste in woman as me, to our mutual detriment. Now once I've broken it to DannyDuck, it'll all be over, and I can get on with it. This won't be easy...
Chyld Notes: Essentially, that was it for Barge Diaries. Here's a summery of the last few days to wrap up.
FRIDAY:
-Got home.
-Recieved my new checkbook and provisional drivers license.
-Sorted my 'net affairs.
-Bought an album.
-Argued viciously with K80 on a whim, then stopped.
-Discovered that Bubbles had done my nastiest piece of work for me.
-Slept.
SATURDAY:
-Went to work.
-Guess what? Its just as I predicted. The one day I least wanted to go to Boots (and therefore see DD), I get sent over to get drugs. He was about as pleased to see me as a Klu Klux Klansman is to see a black man coming over for dinner. I was just petrified he'd break my nose. Shit like this always happens to me...
-Nothing else so funny/painful.
SUNDAY:
-Went to Harrow with TinyOne. Hmm, coupley things...
-Phoned K80, with the intent of bringing her to account for her prom actions. Ended up having a chat about the barge holiday. Still, she knows now that I'm definatly not avaliable...
MONDAY:
-Super arrives...
(its midnight, still technically wednesday!)
Day Four (08/07/04)
12:05pm
Very late morning. Woke up at half nine, sadly alone. This was soon corrected.
If I wrote everything I've been thinking, these notes would turn into a 'life suxx!!!!11' rant, boring to both the bargemates constantly reading these notes, and the people who will read it on the 'net. So I won't.
Problem is, all the funny things happening on this barge are in-jokes, Shouting "In The Morning!" would be very amusing to 10/11ths of the barge (CN: Bubbles hated it with a loathing fury, but everyone blamed it on PMT), but would mean nothing to, say, the Dutch.
What we can laugh about is when I emptied the rubbish earlier just now. The wind caught the bag ad enptied half the rubbish into the canal...
1:40pm
We're back at a point wher there was a fence halfway across the canal on Day One. An odd sight, and a mark of how near the end we are.
2:25pm
"Cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies
boobies
cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies..."Batman's present thought patterns.
We've just had lunch, fresh baked cookies are cooling, and gropings have been introduced to keep eager hands at bay.
And apart from an in-depth discussion on disability, and salad for lunch, there's nothing to report. I'm only writing because The Smug Elf told me to.
Need to get on with:
-Choosing 2000pts of Dwarfs
-Having a shower
-Tactless groping!
-Listening to Slipknot.
Chyld Notes: Check, check, very check, check.
5:15pm
I'm sure there's an update to be got out of the fact that AmyJay fancies at least one person out of every film she's seen. And she's seen a lot of films...
CN: Still waiting for that...
6:36pm
Off to the pub. Back later...
CN: For dinner. Tasty pie. But, with typical aplomb, the one time I not only have enough money in the first place, but am actually offering to buy a round, we get nagged back onto the barge by the women. IDIOTS, its never going to happen ever again...
12:00am
Off to bed, after tasty pies in pub, mass drinking in the boat, and several embaressing pictures of mullets. My mullet, it seems. Meh.
No horny groping tonight - AmyJay's been a-moaning to Bubbles about it. What goes around etc, it seems.
Last night, it seems. Quick wee, not enough drinking on my behalf. However, the Fifth Age of Chyld has begun, thanks to one girly chat and lots of horny groping. Hormones to the rescue, it seems.
(CN: I think it was The Smug Elf that said "Chyld, you know those special rare moments you keep to yourself? That was one of them...". Also, it was obvious then that me and TinyOne were/are going out. HAppy times beckon...)
As an interesting sidenote, this shows that I am well over K80 now. I bet my boxers she'll turn around and say "Oh Chyld! I love you really!" Well, she can Fuck Right Off(c). I've now found a Real Woman(tm). Happy happy happy...
There might be a summery tomorrow, there might not. For now, peachy bum cheeks...
CN: Well, it seems K80 is happy for us as a couple. Its only a matter of time, however...
Day Five (09/07/04)
7:57am
Woken from an odd dream about (fairly recent Sega game) Shenmue, and my shop being a foodstore, by Amy#2 hollering "WAKE UP!" like a small effeminate foghorn. Naturally, soon as both of the girls proved they were awake by similar hollering, they fell back asleep.
Scratch that, AmyJay's just started babbling on about toads...
8:36am
Right, summery.
To be perfectly honest, I was completly joking when I thought "In a room with two single girls? Threesomes!" Obviously, I didn't get to partake in any actual threesomes, but I have got a girlfriend out of one of them. Just like mother said, rather randomly.
We're here now, for some reason.
CN: 'Here' being the place we started. Its true, before we left, my mum did say "Why don't you ask out that (TinyOne) girl, then?" I said no, because I didn't see it happening, and DannyDuck would kill me. For the record, he IS out to kill me...
9:40am
Still no sign of g...
(interupted)
10:12am
I was just writing about how we still weren't getting off the boat, and Sod's dad showed up to render lifts to Tadpole, The Elf that is Smug, and me. Its a bit hard to write in this much space.
That week went quickly. And I haven't written as much as I did in my America Diaries. But then again, I didn't have the extra four days, the bizarre new experiences, and I could tell the lady I loved sweet nothings to her face, as opposed to writing them on scraps of paper and not showing them to her.
On such a note, K80 has left me alone for a whole week, which has helped me not be angry 24/7. Think I'll let the daft cow start annoying me soon.
Made sure that Brian and I parted on good terms. He's a good bloke, just that he has the same taste in woman as me, to our mutual detriment. Now once I've broken it to DannyDuck, it'll all be over, and I can get on with it. This won't be easy...
Chyld Notes: Essentially, that was it for Barge Diaries. Here's a summery of the last few days to wrap up.
FRIDAY:
-Got home.
-Recieved my new checkbook and provisional drivers license.
-Sorted my 'net affairs.
-Bought an album.
-Argued viciously with K80 on a whim, then stopped.
-Discovered that Bubbles had done my nastiest piece of work for me.
-Slept.
SATURDAY:
-Went to work.
-Guess what? Its just as I predicted. The one day I least wanted to go to Boots (and therefore see DD), I get sent over to get drugs. He was about as pleased to see me as a Klu Klux Klansman is to see a black man coming over for dinner. I was just petrified he'd break my nose. Shit like this always happens to me...
-Nothing else so funny/painful.
SUNDAY:
-Went to Harrow with TinyOne. Hmm, coupley things...
-Phoned K80, with the intent of bringing her to account for her prom actions. Ended up having a chat about the barge holiday. Still, she knows now that I'm definatly not avaliable...
MONDAY:
-Super arrives...
