Monday, August 23
The France Diaries: Three
Day Eleven - Saturday 14th
12:31pm
Onwards! To Brittany!
I've finally cracked open the laptop, for the delights of the Horrorpops, and I might as well write something while I'm here.
Fuck, I'm hungry.
2:58pm
Stopped off at McDonalds at some point, and grabbed some more food in the wonders of E.LeClerc, so the hunger issue is little more. There was an Internet computer there too, but it only took cards, so no chance to regale the hoardes with any adventures. In hindsight, my debit card might have worked...
6:56pm
Well, we're at the third and final campsite, and it seems we've actually finally got a caravan worth the money, as opposed to Keycamps old stock. No third bed, mind, so it looks like I'm on the sofa whether I want it or not. Also, the pools not free, but the folks are covering that angle. Still...
For now, its a matter of a-working on the tan. I've fought for at least half an hour to find a position where I can
-See the screen
-Be near a plug
-Actually be in the sunlight
And even now, the monitors being a bitch. How lovely.
Day Twelve - Sunday 15th
1:12pm
Didn't get a chance to make notes last night, so I'll bring y'all up to speed now.
-Explored the delights of the campsite bar. Stella is €4.50 a pint, so I only managed two before the funds finally gave way.
-Found the arcade, complete with that seminal classic, Metal Slug. What little money not spent in the bar was pumped into this, to the delight of some small French children.
-Found another book, by Chris Ryan. SAS stuff. Quite interesting. Almost finished it.
-Patronised the pool. While a respectable totty-fest, it wasn't very exciting.
4:10pm
We were going to go to one of the... "charming" beaches of the area, but we were warded off of going to the seaweed-clogged messes by the heavens literally opening. We're lucky to have used the car - you did feel sorry for the poor sods hurrying home under the solid wall of water.
I, however, am now stonkingly bored. I'm not wasting another €2 today for a game of Metal Slug, but all my other avenues of entertainment have dried up like corpses in the sun. That Chris Ryan book didn't last very long...
5:15pm
Things done under extreme boredom within the last hour:
-A few new pictures of Henry Skull, both on paper and on computer.
-A picture labelled "Heart Breaker"
-A photo of "my bed"
-A list of all the tourist spots in the area
And of course, scaring the siblings with the electric fire lighter...
7:59pm
Its now throwing it down with rain. With lightning and thunder thrown in too. To keep my sanity, I might just have another whack at Metal Slug...
Day Thirteen - Monday 16th
11:21am
After half an hour's frantic hunting, we found my phone, which had gone missing. Later, we're off to some place called Pont Avon. It's either that, or a town which sounds a bit like Pantera Con Carne. Heavy metal spicy foods? Or crappy Frenchy town.
Soon, we shal be home. Back in my comfy bed, back by my comfy computer, back with my nice commercialised Strongbow. To be sure, French ciders alright, but still...
2:14pm
It seems that we did, in fact, go to Con Carne instead, and it might have been quite nice. However, the rain decided to rear its ugly head again. All over me and my remarkable absense of hoodie. We're now hunting for somewhere for lunch. By car.
8:09pm
Instead of finding lunch, we picked up a wodge of buns in an E.LeClerc to tide us over until the French had finished their three-hour lunches, then went back to Con Carne. However, we spent half an hour hunting for a parking space, and had to hike halfway across the town to get to te restaurants. In the end, all but one had stopped servig food by the time we got there.
After that, we had a gander at what I will call a castle. Ma Jennings supposes it to be a fortified area, and I suppose that applies too. We wandered the ramparts, and Little Brother didn't flirt with death in the form of falling off, so much as violating it like a horny Thai hooker.
I've been given €20 for souviners and pub money. Its a shame I couldn't find any souviners worth the bother...
11:47pm
Just got back from the bar. Nothing exciting, no womens, just a couple of pints. The exception is that I found a computer attached to the Internet. Like seaweed attached to glass. It took six tries to get it connected, and moved slower than my old 14.4kp/s modem. IE, like a snail through treacle. And at a cost of one euro per 10mins, and a touch-screen keyboard, that's not much fun. Did catxh up on my net-based affairs. From what I gather, Rhubarb is abusing her mod powers on the FR boards, Bubbles needs an Elvish translation of something for Batman, they've invented backless thongs (the stupidest thing I've heard all the time I've been away), and Supers done two updates in my stead. Jolly good then. Mind you, I was relativly pissed when I added my replies on Cheffers' board (as I am now) so I don't know...
At any rate, the beer has gone down in price by €0.10 since Saturday. Whoope de doo...
11:54pm
Oh yeah, and I found no way to reply to threads on our forum, or create new ones, so don't panic, and try searching for my replies.
On reflection, I should have tried to strike up a conversation with the girl who dibsed the computer after me, but she did seem a bit Sharon-ish, and besides, computers>women.
Day Fourteen - Tuesday 17th
3:19pm
Visited Pont Avon today. LB bought a froggy-xylaphone thing, we all got rained on, and we found a restaurant. All jolly good. Might go off swimming now.
As an appendium to yesterdays notes, I did try writing a brief update, but it crashed the computer. Whoops...
9:16pm
...and that was it for our last full day of Froggyland.
I'm just about to pack, and then its off to the bar for a final royal piss-up. I also intend to get one last game of Metal Slug in, and a bit of time sorting my affairs on the Net. IE, write a short update, bother the Chefelf forums, fail to bother my own forums, etc. Then 'tis bedtime, and a 6-8 hour crawl across France to Calais. After that, its an hour on the boat (hopefully spent philosophising about the sea and/or playing Silent Scope with the £2 I never got exchanged), then another 2-3 hours (at most) getting home.
Then theres all the fun of exam results to contend with. Expect the update before this gets uploaded to be all about the results...
Time to go.
The End Of Times - Wednesday 18th
6:57pm
We've been travelling since 11:15 this morning, and we're just about to get into Calais. In that time, I've re-read the first two His Dark Materials books, and I'll have a whack at the last one when I find it.
Last night was nothing special - Big Brother and I went to the bar, I saw a girl, she was fine, and I didn't talk to her. Confidence? Appearence? I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't know any normal girls I can ask. That's a sentence that'll piss off a fair few people.
An hour on the boat, up to three hours driving, then we'll be home. And I'll have exam results to worry about. I'm sorry, have I said this already? Ho hum.
8:38pm GMT
Back on our blessed soil! 2 hours to drive, and just under 2 hours of battery to do it in. Piece o' piss.
I'm just discovering that I do actually know how to touch type, to a degree - I can't see the keys, and I'm only making a few mistakes...
And that, my friends, was it. I'm doing another "Where I'm at now" thing tomorrow, but for now...
You'll have noticed that there's actually a link up for the Henry Skull comics. That's because I got so excited, I decided to start uploading them on Friday. The second is going up today...
12:31pm
Onwards! To Brittany!
I've finally cracked open the laptop, for the delights of the Horrorpops, and I might as well write something while I'm here.
Fuck, I'm hungry.
2:58pm
Stopped off at McDonalds at some point, and grabbed some more food in the wonders of E.LeClerc, so the hunger issue is little more. There was an Internet computer there too, but it only took cards, so no chance to regale the hoardes with any adventures. In hindsight, my debit card might have worked...
6:56pm
Well, we're at the third and final campsite, and it seems we've actually finally got a caravan worth the money, as opposed to Keycamps old stock. No third bed, mind, so it looks like I'm on the sofa whether I want it or not. Also, the pools not free, but the folks are covering that angle. Still...
For now, its a matter of a-working on the tan. I've fought for at least half an hour to find a position where I can
-See the screen
-Be near a plug
-Actually be in the sunlight
And even now, the monitors being a bitch. How lovely.
Day Twelve - Sunday 15th
1:12pm
Didn't get a chance to make notes last night, so I'll bring y'all up to speed now.
-Explored the delights of the campsite bar. Stella is €4.50 a pint, so I only managed two before the funds finally gave way.
-Found the arcade, complete with that seminal classic, Metal Slug. What little money not spent in the bar was pumped into this, to the delight of some small French children.
-Found another book, by Chris Ryan. SAS stuff. Quite interesting. Almost finished it.
-Patronised the pool. While a respectable totty-fest, it wasn't very exciting.
4:10pm
We were going to go to one of the... "charming" beaches of the area, but we were warded off of going to the seaweed-clogged messes by the heavens literally opening. We're lucky to have used the car - you did feel sorry for the poor sods hurrying home under the solid wall of water.
I, however, am now stonkingly bored. I'm not wasting another €2 today for a game of Metal Slug, but all my other avenues of entertainment have dried up like corpses in the sun. That Chris Ryan book didn't last very long...
5:15pm
Things done under extreme boredom within the last hour:
-A few new pictures of Henry Skull, both on paper and on computer.
-A picture labelled "Heart Breaker"
-A photo of "my bed"
-A list of all the tourist spots in the area
And of course, scaring the siblings with the electric fire lighter...
7:59pm
Its now throwing it down with rain. With lightning and thunder thrown in too. To keep my sanity, I might just have another whack at Metal Slug...
Day Thirteen - Monday 16th
11:21am
After half an hour's frantic hunting, we found my phone, which had gone missing. Later, we're off to some place called Pont Avon. It's either that, or a town which sounds a bit like Pantera Con Carne. Heavy metal spicy foods? Or crappy Frenchy town.
Soon, we shal be home. Back in my comfy bed, back by my comfy computer, back with my nice commercialised Strongbow. To be sure, French ciders alright, but still...
2:14pm
It seems that we did, in fact, go to Con Carne instead, and it might have been quite nice. However, the rain decided to rear its ugly head again. All over me and my remarkable absense of hoodie. We're now hunting for somewhere for lunch. By car.
8:09pm
Instead of finding lunch, we picked up a wodge of buns in an E.LeClerc to tide us over until the French had finished their three-hour lunches, then went back to Con Carne. However, we spent half an hour hunting for a parking space, and had to hike halfway across the town to get to te restaurants. In the end, all but one had stopped servig food by the time we got there.
After that, we had a gander at what I will call a castle. Ma Jennings supposes it to be a fortified area, and I suppose that applies too. We wandered the ramparts, and Little Brother didn't flirt with death in the form of falling off, so much as violating it like a horny Thai hooker.
I've been given €20 for souviners and pub money. Its a shame I couldn't find any souviners worth the bother...
11:47pm
Just got back from the bar. Nothing exciting, no womens, just a couple of pints. The exception is that I found a computer attached to the Internet. Like seaweed attached to glass. It took six tries to get it connected, and moved slower than my old 14.4kp/s modem. IE, like a snail through treacle. And at a cost of one euro per 10mins, and a touch-screen keyboard, that's not much fun. Did catxh up on my net-based affairs. From what I gather, Rhubarb is abusing her mod powers on the FR boards, Bubbles needs an Elvish translation of something for Batman, they've invented backless thongs (the stupidest thing I've heard all the time I've been away), and Supers done two updates in my stead. Jolly good then. Mind you, I was relativly pissed when I added my replies on Cheffers' board (as I am now) so I don't know...
At any rate, the beer has gone down in price by €0.10 since Saturday. Whoope de doo...
11:54pm
Oh yeah, and I found no way to reply to threads on our forum, or create new ones, so don't panic, and try searching for my replies.
On reflection, I should have tried to strike up a conversation with the girl who dibsed the computer after me, but she did seem a bit Sharon-ish, and besides, computers>women.
Day Fourteen - Tuesday 17th
3:19pm
Visited Pont Avon today. LB bought a froggy-xylaphone thing, we all got rained on, and we found a restaurant. All jolly good. Might go off swimming now.
As an appendium to yesterdays notes, I did try writing a brief update, but it crashed the computer. Whoops...
9:16pm
...and that was it for our last full day of Froggyland.
I'm just about to pack, and then its off to the bar for a final royal piss-up. I also intend to get one last game of Metal Slug in, and a bit of time sorting my affairs on the Net. IE, write a short update, bother the Chefelf forums, fail to bother my own forums, etc. Then 'tis bedtime, and a 6-8 hour crawl across France to Calais. After that, its an hour on the boat (hopefully spent philosophising about the sea and/or playing Silent Scope with the £2 I never got exchanged), then another 2-3 hours (at most) getting home.
Then theres all the fun of exam results to contend with. Expect the update before this gets uploaded to be all about the results...
Time to go.
The End Of Times - Wednesday 18th
6:57pm
We've been travelling since 11:15 this morning, and we're just about to get into Calais. In that time, I've re-read the first two His Dark Materials books, and I'll have a whack at the last one when I find it.
Last night was nothing special - Big Brother and I went to the bar, I saw a girl, she was fine, and I didn't talk to her. Confidence? Appearence? I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't know any normal girls I can ask. That's a sentence that'll piss off a fair few people.
An hour on the boat, up to three hours driving, then we'll be home. And I'll have exam results to worry about. I'm sorry, have I said this already? Ho hum.
8:38pm GMT
Back on our blessed soil! 2 hours to drive, and just under 2 hours of battery to do it in. Piece o' piss.
I'm just discovering that I do actually know how to touch type, to a degree - I can't see the keys, and I'm only making a few mistakes...
And that, my friends, was it. I'm doing another "Where I'm at now" thing tomorrow, but for now...
You'll have noticed that there's actually a link up for the Henry Skull comics. That's because I got so excited, I decided to start uploading them on Friday. The second is going up today...
