Wednesday, April 28
Yes Mr Hawkins, We Believe It Too...
It always seems fairly obvious that every blog will end up chatting about love, and Less Is More refuses to be an exception.
Everyone here should know at least this part of my psyche. Half of you will be people I know in RL, and will have seen me spectacularly fail with up to three or four different women. The other half will be people from Black Orc I speak to, even occasionally, on MSN, so I will have rattled on about one girl in particular, even if not by name.
Basically, my family is not very lucky in love. I'm in no position to comment on my parents, as I wasn't alive enough to observe, but something must have happened, because I'm here typing this rubbish instead of being sperm in a hanky. Little Brother is nine, and more concerned about little pieces of card with Japanese monsters on than women. Big Brother, comically enough, also hordes little pieces of card with Japanese monsters on them, and many other such stupid things, and he wonders why women, sober and sane, won't touch him.
And me? I'm just spectacularly unlucky.
Despite frequent suggestions to the opposite, enough women have told me I'm good enough looking for me to believe it. Indeed, there's far uglier blokes everywhere. And I've got a sense of humour, black, deranged or otherwise. I can't see any massive problems with me. Besides being mad as a hatter. Or having what could be described as a speech impediment, or just not being arsed to talk the same as everyone else. Or actually having a drug fixation. But the last one is only a really recent thing, as it hasn't affected any women I've been out with before.
Lets have a look at my potted history, shall we? If I gave a full rendition, we could streach it over three well-packed updates.
So, discounting a girl I went out with in Year 7, which doesn't really count, this is a summery of my relationships.
1.) March 2002 - One Week
Ah, practically pre-history in Chyld's books. I hadn't even touched cannabis by this point, and I'd only started drinking the Christmas before. CompleteAnarchy wasn't too far different in these respects, but there was a girl he liked. And naturally, as you do, he dragged me along to meet her. And (so I thought) her rather fine friend. The word "breasts" dominated the conversation for a while after.
She liked me, and I liked her, and somehow we became an item. A rather short-lived item. She dumped me as soon as she met the rest of my crew. Oh dear.
2a.) June 2002 - One Week Five Days
This was, I thought, It. The Big One. You only find a girl like her once every million years. You all know who I'm talking about, if not by name. And it didn't help that throughout the writing on that paragraph, she was right next to me reading it.
We had had our Year 11 Prom the day before, and somehow, I had mustered the nerve to ask her to be my date. Actually, I think that more resulted in everyone going "Ask her!" within earshot of her. But the important thing is that it had all been perfect. I think.
She texted me to ask me out - and I was asleep at the time. Oh go me! She told me things I'm sworn not to tell, and thus won't even hint at. But "it wasn't working". Women and their excuses. Like finding snow in an avalanche. But that wasn't the end. Oh no.
3.) August 2002 - Two Weeks
Later that summer, I me up with an old friend. Or a rather younger than me friend, depending on how you look at it. I was under the impression I was just going to keep her company. And this was what happened. She told me to text her when she got dragged away to a friends Bible Camp. I did, because we were friends. Then when I did, she told me she wanted to take my virginity and buggered up the rest of my year.
We became an item the same day. I waited a week until she returned, we met up, and I'll spare you the gory details because I'm eating lunch in half an hour and I want to keep it down.
Ironically, she thought the same thing and ignored me for three days. Then bothered to dump me. But that wasn't it. What happened leaked, and BOY the rumours were damning...
2b.) November 2002 to January 2003 - One Month Three Weeks
Note the numbering...
I was drowning under the weight of rumours, and I was suffering. Close-mindedness really sucks. In the end, I declared that Love Was Dead, and I Had Killed It. She asked me what I meant, and having filled three sides of paper on the subject. Which could have been condensed to "I Still Love You". Her response was lukewarm, so I despaired.
I had met another girl at this point, and one afternoon around the point in time, I was asked "Would you go out with her?" To which I replied "Yes." Keep noting the numbering.
Once again, I was hosting a party. I was actually going to ask this girl out; this was the point of the party. And guess what? Go on. We're talking about women here.
Yes. She told me she still loved me.
Why, oh why, can't they spring this sort of thing on me when it's easy? Choice is something I can't deal with.
In the end, Option Number Two was discarded, and She was mine. Again.
I look on this time as a Golden Age in my time. I can't actually explain how perfect I found/find her, as the "life sux!!!!!11" detector is already going haywire.
But, of course it didn't last. Nothing good lasts (cue exploding "life sux!!!!!!11" detector) Straight after a Media Studies exam, which I had spent carving "I Luv ## 4Eva" on a table. Broke my heart and ruined a good table. Typical, that.
Since then its been a haze of cannabis, stolen hugs, and random kisses. I'm still seeking 2c.), and I should move on (lol, as they say), but for now, I've got updates to write, green to smoke, and a thick layer of "Emoness" to scrape off my poor keyboard.
Everyone here should know at least this part of my psyche. Half of you will be people I know in RL, and will have seen me spectacularly fail with up to three or four different women. The other half will be people from Black Orc I speak to, even occasionally, on MSN, so I will have rattled on about one girl in particular, even if not by name.
Basically, my family is not very lucky in love. I'm in no position to comment on my parents, as I wasn't alive enough to observe, but something must have happened, because I'm here typing this rubbish instead of being sperm in a hanky. Little Brother is nine, and more concerned about little pieces of card with Japanese monsters on than women. Big Brother, comically enough, also hordes little pieces of card with Japanese monsters on them, and many other such stupid things, and he wonders why women, sober and sane, won't touch him.
And me? I'm just spectacularly unlucky.
Despite frequent suggestions to the opposite, enough women have told me I'm good enough looking for me to believe it. Indeed, there's far uglier blokes everywhere. And I've got a sense of humour, black, deranged or otherwise. I can't see any massive problems with me. Besides being mad as a hatter. Or having what could be described as a speech impediment, or just not being arsed to talk the same as everyone else. Or actually having a drug fixation. But the last one is only a really recent thing, as it hasn't affected any women I've been out with before.
Lets have a look at my potted history, shall we? If I gave a full rendition, we could streach it over three well-packed updates.
So, discounting a girl I went out with in Year 7, which doesn't really count, this is a summery of my relationships.
1.) March 2002 - One Week
Ah, practically pre-history in Chyld's books. I hadn't even touched cannabis by this point, and I'd only started drinking the Christmas before. CompleteAnarchy wasn't too far different in these respects, but there was a girl he liked. And naturally, as you do, he dragged me along to meet her. And (so I thought) her rather fine friend. The word "breasts" dominated the conversation for a while after.
She liked me, and I liked her, and somehow we became an item. A rather short-lived item. She dumped me as soon as she met the rest of my crew. Oh dear.
2a.) June 2002 - One Week Five Days
This was, I thought, It. The Big One. You only find a girl like her once every million years. You all know who I'm talking about, if not by name. And it didn't help that throughout the writing on that paragraph, she was right next to me reading it.
We had had our Year 11 Prom the day before, and somehow, I had mustered the nerve to ask her to be my date. Actually, I think that more resulted in everyone going "Ask her!" within earshot of her. But the important thing is that it had all been perfect. I think.
She texted me to ask me out - and I was asleep at the time. Oh go me! She told me things I'm sworn not to tell, and thus won't even hint at. But "it wasn't working". Women and their excuses. Like finding snow in an avalanche. But that wasn't the end. Oh no.
3.) August 2002 - Two Weeks
Later that summer, I me up with an old friend. Or a rather younger than me friend, depending on how you look at it. I was under the impression I was just going to keep her company. And this was what happened. She told me to text her when she got dragged away to a friends Bible Camp. I did, because we were friends. Then when I did, she told me she wanted to take my virginity and buggered up the rest of my year.
We became an item the same day. I waited a week until she returned, we met up, and I'll spare you the gory details because I'm eating lunch in half an hour and I want to keep it down.
Ironically, she thought the same thing and ignored me for three days. Then bothered to dump me. But that wasn't it. What happened leaked, and BOY the rumours were damning...
2b.) November 2002 to January 2003 - One Month Three Weeks
Note the numbering...
I was drowning under the weight of rumours, and I was suffering. Close-mindedness really sucks. In the end, I declared that Love Was Dead, and I Had Killed It. She asked me what I meant, and having filled three sides of paper on the subject. Which could have been condensed to "I Still Love You". Her response was lukewarm, so I despaired.
I had met another girl at this point, and one afternoon around the point in time, I was asked "Would you go out with her?" To which I replied "Yes." Keep noting the numbering.
Once again, I was hosting a party. I was actually going to ask this girl out; this was the point of the party. And guess what? Go on. We're talking about women here.
Yes. She told me she still loved me.
Why, oh why, can't they spring this sort of thing on me when it's easy? Choice is something I can't deal with.
In the end, Option Number Two was discarded, and She was mine. Again.
I look on this time as a Golden Age in my time. I can't actually explain how perfect I found/find her, as the "life sux!!!!!11" detector is already going haywire.
But, of course it didn't last. Nothing good lasts (cue exploding "life sux!!!!!!11" detector) Straight after a Media Studies exam, which I had spent carving "I Luv ## 4Eva" on a table. Broke my heart and ruined a good table. Typical, that.
Since then its been a haze of cannabis, stolen hugs, and random kisses. I'm still seeking 2c.), and I should move on (lol, as they say), but for now, I've got updates to write, green to smoke, and a thick layer of "Emoness" to scrape off my poor keyboard.
