Friday, June 25
Cell Phones
Oh Myself! I hate cell phones! I hate the multi-functional bullshit of the latest models! Last Wednesday the Holland Team beat Latvia in the Euro Championship 2004 and our very nice Czech friends beat Germany. We wonder well managed it to the quarterfinals. As mentioned before my local pub has this ‘pay-ten-Euros-drink-free-all-night-policy’ and obvious I was wasted when I returned home. Started drinking at 8, coming home at 4:30 and catching my bus to school at 7:15. I can tell you that zombies still show up once in a while. Totally wrecked I arrive at school and one of my class mates starts to take pictures with her cell phone of me. I hate that anyway, I hate it more when I don’t feel too well, and I despise it when you do it with a cell phone. A phone is for phoning! The word phone says it all! P-H-O-N-E. How can you mix up the words phone and camera? What the fuck!? You’re not taking pictures with a goddamn cell phone! When do people learn that things are made for a purpose? A radio is designed to listen music, a toilet is designed to take a shit, a camera is designed to take photographs and a cell phone is designed to phone! That’s the order of things! I still take a shit on the toilet even if I had a million cell phones! And the thing is, since a cell phone can make pictures, everyone starts taking them at random moments of the day! It all are stupid pictures without any reason to shoot them and no one wants to look at them in the first place.
“Look this is Super!”
“Um… why did you take that picture, he isn’t doing anything at all?”
“Because I can…”
Because I can!? That’s no argumentation! I can put a baseball bat up my asshole, dress up like a ballerina and blow George Michael at the same time! But that’s not a reason to actually do it!
I heard the story about exploding cell phones, don’t know exactly why they exploded, but I liked the idea. It should happen more often. Well, more often… it should happen all the time when someone takes a picture.
“Smile!”
Kaboom!
“Oooh, now THAT’s a nasty look. Yigh, is this your nose!?”
Ha! Good! You deserved it! Now die! And rot in hell! Till the End of Times! Jerk!
Argh!
“Look this is Super!”
“Um… why did you take that picture, he isn’t doing anything at all?”
“Because I can…”
Because I can!? That’s no argumentation! I can put a baseball bat up my asshole, dress up like a ballerina and blow George Michael at the same time! But that’s not a reason to actually do it!
I heard the story about exploding cell phones, don’t know exactly why they exploded, but I liked the idea. It should happen more often. Well, more often… it should happen all the time when someone takes a picture.
“Smile!”
Kaboom!
“Oooh, now THAT’s a nasty look. Yigh, is this your nose!?”
Ha! Good! You deserved it! Now die! And rot in hell! Till the End of Times! Jerk!
Argh!
