Friday, July 16
Schizo in the UK
Friday, July 16, 2004 7:13 PM and I have to write a update about my trip to Amersham. Let’s make it quick. Hmmm… let’s go with a day by day diary then. If I finish this one in the same pace that The Apers are playing in the background it’ll be OK.
Sunday, July 11, 2004 late when I realize I still have to pack my stuff and I decide I don’t need the sleep too much. Tomorrow I’ll travel by bus, train and plane. Time enough to catch some sleep and besides that, Sleep is for the weak.
Monday, July 12, 2004 way to early and my cell phone is waking me with a sound louder than an anti-aircraft alarm and curse myself. Why did I choose for a flight to UK this early? I drag myself to the shower and prepare myself for a whole day public transport.
Boring, boring, boring and then I am at Amersham Station. No signal on my phone, how do I call Chyldio? Waste 2 pounds on a pay phone for a 20 second call. I hate England.
Okay, meeting up with Chyldio. We decide to go for the park and soon after Johnny Napalm joins us. We talk about random things and decide every place with more than three trees is a forest. In other words, we are in a forest. We’re heading to Tesco’s, Johhny needs food, Super says food is for the weak and Jennings needs something else. We’re wasting the rest of the day at the parking lot of the supermarket until it’s dinner time. Even though Super still thinks food is for the weak, Mum Jennings prepares chips and chicken. We’re spending some time on the computer and busying ourselves with texting. Time to go to the pub. But first we’re picking up Jess. "Jolly good!" I say. Jess is at Tesco’s and by then I haven’t got a clue why.
Okies, we’re in the pub and here the story goes. We know all about the love birds, but there is one mean duck around. I only say a few things about it.
1. If I had to spend three hours at a supermarket for every girl that dumped me, I should pay rent.
2. When it over, it’s over. Reason isn’t of any importance.
3. There are tons of girls in the world, even in England.
4. Making a fool of yourself is stupid. And trust me, I know these things.
Anyway, we’re in a pub which name I’ve forgotten and I’m really quite. Don’t I enjoy this place? No, I really enjoy it. Andrew turns out to be a nicer bloke than expected and Jess is cuter in real life than on a crappy webcam. Than what is wrong? I stare at a quote of Jeffrey Bernard and realize it’s more brilliant than something I’ll ever produce. I try to unravel both the incredible simplicity as difficulty, but fail hopelessly. Even when all my other personalities help me (6 know more than 1).
Jess has to leave early, and when I realize I never ever in my life get the quote of Bernard, I get more talkative. We order another pint and some pub adventures and school adventures are told. Time to go home.
I need to find a sleeping place. Well, let’s put if different, Chyld insists I find I sleeping place. "Sleep is for the weak" I say again and add that the weather is good. In other words: I’m not going to sleep this night. We say goodbye and meet each other at Amersham Station at 10 the next morning to visit Camden.
Monday, July 12, 2004, night I decide I haven’t anything to do and go for a walk. Soon I arrive at the shopping street. I agree with myself that Amersham is quite boring around 4 in the night. I walk back to Tesco’s for something to eat. 79p for some Fairy Cakes, sounds OK to me. I eat one on a bench outside Tesco and remind myself food is for the weak and put the rest of the cakes back in my bag. I walk around some more, the night is chilly and I think it’s going to be a day that shows some similarities to a summer day.
Tuesday, July 13 2004, somewhere around 9 I arrive at Amersham Station. I only need to wait for an hour, I don’t mind it and work on my tint. Chyldio indeed arrives at 10 and we’re off to Camden. Camden is the Walhalla of the Alternativeness I think, so it’s quite obvious I enjoy it. Everywhere people wear Converse All stars is a good place. We see tons of stands selling Magic Mushrooms, but don’t need them. We too see a shiny skull belt, but don’t buy it. Chyld says it’s lunch time and buys something Indian. We don’t need food, we just finished our cake.
"Let’s go for a pint!" says Chyld.
"My idea!" agrees Super.
After two pints we go home, but the weird British bloke wants to buy an ugly belt. "This one!? Why not go for the shiny skull belt?" I ask. Good idea we agree. But we realize we don’t know where the bloody stand is again, so we go home anyway.
Mum Jennings is getting us pizzas, and I say to myself that she is a good mother. And soon after it I realize Dad Jennings is a good man too. He offers to let me stay for the night and I agree that it’s a good plan.
We’re obviously going to the pub again, but after two pints I think I stayed awake long enough and we go home.
Wednesday, July 14 2004, 11 AM and we get out of bed. I’m going to meet Amy tonight and of course am excited as a young puppy. It isn’t time though and I feel like a puppy who is forced to stay at his place or else gets whipped by a cruel master. We spend some time on MSN and I hear the weirdest things. Jess wants me to touch her legs and Amy likes to be stroked in the neck and under the chin. I decide English are weirdos. We still need to kill some time and we’re going for a walk and buy a shiny mag. I read the shiny mag while drinking a Bud and decide life is good. After that we watch Two Towers. When it’s dinner time, my ideas are confirmed. Mum Jennings is a good mother and she cooks a great meal. Suits with my new bud.
We’re off to a pub, and after a few minutes the ladies arrive at the pub too. We spend some quality time there doing some quiz for the poor. I know something about flags and we score more points with round 1 than all the other rounds scores added together. I’m an official hero and claim we should get a lot of bonus points.
Time for the ladies to go home. We say goodbye and the chaps want to buy another beer at the, by now, famous supermarket. Unfortunately it’s not allowed and I agree with myself that English really are really weird. Why would you stay open 24/7 if you’re not allowed to buy a beer after 11?
Thursday, July 15 2004, 10 AM and I decide I read enough music magazines and go downstairs. Chyld has finished his paper round and is already on the computer. With help of Mum we agree I go by bus and only need to leave at 4 (I believe it was 4).
I have to go. Chyld drops me at the bus stop and we say goodbye. "I’ll come by again." I say and fighting the tears. I see a big tear rolling over Andrew’s cheek. "I got to go."
"I’m not leaving yet." Says the kind of rude bus driver after five minutes.
"Why?"
"The bus has broken down."
"Okay then… WHAT!? The bus has broken down!?"
"That’s what I said."
"Holly me!" and I run to the Underground Station. Things aren’t under control anymore.
Boring, boring, boring… and I’m back at earth’s paradise. I’m home at 2 o’ clock English time and decide I did a great job. I also realize I miss my daily drinking hour with Chyld. I walk to the fridge, but after several beers I decide it’s not the same.
I want to go back to UK.
Sunday, July 11, 2004 late when I realize I still have to pack my stuff and I decide I don’t need the sleep too much. Tomorrow I’ll travel by bus, train and plane. Time enough to catch some sleep and besides that, Sleep is for the weak.
Monday, July 12, 2004 way to early and my cell phone is waking me with a sound louder than an anti-aircraft alarm and curse myself. Why did I choose for a flight to UK this early? I drag myself to the shower and prepare myself for a whole day public transport.
Boring, boring, boring and then I am at Amersham Station. No signal on my phone, how do I call Chyldio? Waste 2 pounds on a pay phone for a 20 second call. I hate England.
Okay, meeting up with Chyldio. We decide to go for the park and soon after Johnny Napalm joins us. We talk about random things and decide every place with more than three trees is a forest. In other words, we are in a forest. We’re heading to Tesco’s, Johhny needs food, Super says food is for the weak and Jennings needs something else. We’re wasting the rest of the day at the parking lot of the supermarket until it’s dinner time. Even though Super still thinks food is for the weak, Mum Jennings prepares chips and chicken. We’re spending some time on the computer and busying ourselves with texting. Time to go to the pub. But first we’re picking up Jess. "Jolly good!" I say. Jess is at Tesco’s and by then I haven’t got a clue why.
Okies, we’re in the pub and here the story goes. We know all about the love birds, but there is one mean duck around. I only say a few things about it.
1. If I had to spend three hours at a supermarket for every girl that dumped me, I should pay rent.
2. When it over, it’s over. Reason isn’t of any importance.
3. There are tons of girls in the world, even in England.
4. Making a fool of yourself is stupid. And trust me, I know these things.
Anyway, we’re in a pub which name I’ve forgotten and I’m really quite. Don’t I enjoy this place? No, I really enjoy it. Andrew turns out to be a nicer bloke than expected and Jess is cuter in real life than on a crappy webcam. Than what is wrong? I stare at a quote of Jeffrey Bernard and realize it’s more brilliant than something I’ll ever produce. I try to unravel both the incredible simplicity as difficulty, but fail hopelessly. Even when all my other personalities help me (6 know more than 1).
Jess has to leave early, and when I realize I never ever in my life get the quote of Bernard, I get more talkative. We order another pint and some pub adventures and school adventures are told. Time to go home.
I need to find a sleeping place. Well, let’s put if different, Chyld insists I find I sleeping place. "Sleep is for the weak" I say again and add that the weather is good. In other words: I’m not going to sleep this night. We say goodbye and meet each other at Amersham Station at 10 the next morning to visit Camden.
Monday, July 12, 2004, night I decide I haven’t anything to do and go for a walk. Soon I arrive at the shopping street. I agree with myself that Amersham is quite boring around 4 in the night. I walk back to Tesco’s for something to eat. 79p for some Fairy Cakes, sounds OK to me. I eat one on a bench outside Tesco and remind myself food is for the weak and put the rest of the cakes back in my bag. I walk around some more, the night is chilly and I think it’s going to be a day that shows some similarities to a summer day.
Tuesday, July 13 2004, somewhere around 9 I arrive at Amersham Station. I only need to wait for an hour, I don’t mind it and work on my tint. Chyldio indeed arrives at 10 and we’re off to Camden. Camden is the Walhalla of the Alternativeness I think, so it’s quite obvious I enjoy it. Everywhere people wear Converse All stars is a good place. We see tons of stands selling Magic Mushrooms, but don’t need them. We too see a shiny skull belt, but don’t buy it. Chyld says it’s lunch time and buys something Indian. We don’t need food, we just finished our cake.
"Let’s go for a pint!" says Chyld.
"My idea!" agrees Super.
After two pints we go home, but the weird British bloke wants to buy an ugly belt. "This one!? Why not go for the shiny skull belt?" I ask. Good idea we agree. But we realize we don’t know where the bloody stand is again, so we go home anyway.
Mum Jennings is getting us pizzas, and I say to myself that she is a good mother. And soon after it I realize Dad Jennings is a good man too. He offers to let me stay for the night and I agree that it’s a good plan.
We’re obviously going to the pub again, but after two pints I think I stayed awake long enough and we go home.
Wednesday, July 14 2004, 11 AM and we get out of bed. I’m going to meet Amy tonight and of course am excited as a young puppy. It isn’t time though and I feel like a puppy who is forced to stay at his place or else gets whipped by a cruel master. We spend some time on MSN and I hear the weirdest things. Jess wants me to touch her legs and Amy likes to be stroked in the neck and under the chin. I decide English are weirdos. We still need to kill some time and we’re going for a walk and buy a shiny mag. I read the shiny mag while drinking a Bud and decide life is good. After that we watch Two Towers. When it’s dinner time, my ideas are confirmed. Mum Jennings is a good mother and she cooks a great meal. Suits with my new bud.
We’re off to a pub, and after a few minutes the ladies arrive at the pub too. We spend some quality time there doing some quiz for the poor. I know something about flags and we score more points with round 1 than all the other rounds scores added together. I’m an official hero and claim we should get a lot of bonus points.
Time for the ladies to go home. We say goodbye and the chaps want to buy another beer at the, by now, famous supermarket. Unfortunately it’s not allowed and I agree with myself that English really are really weird. Why would you stay open 24/7 if you’re not allowed to buy a beer after 11?
Thursday, July 15 2004, 10 AM and I decide I read enough music magazines and go downstairs. Chyld has finished his paper round and is already on the computer. With help of Mum we agree I go by bus and only need to leave at 4 (I believe it was 4).
I have to go. Chyld drops me at the bus stop and we say goodbye. "I’ll come by again." I say and fighting the tears. I see a big tear rolling over Andrew’s cheek. "I got to go."
"I’m not leaving yet." Says the kind of rude bus driver after five minutes.
"Why?"
"The bus has broken down."
"Okay then… WHAT!? The bus has broken down!?"
"That’s what I said."
"Holly me!" and I run to the Underground Station. Things aren’t under control anymore.
Boring, boring, boring… and I’m back at earth’s paradise. I’m home at 2 o’ clock English time and decide I did a great job. I also realize I miss my daily drinking hour with Chyld. I walk to the fridge, but after several beers I decide it’s not the same.
I want to go back to UK.
