Tuesday, December 28
2004: A Year In Review
So, as the year draws to a shuddering close, its about time for every blog on the Internet to do a "This Year Summery" update. And guess what? I love bandwagons. They save me from having to think of ideas for updates! Yes, I know that my LiveJournal is the home of my personal life, but who really gives a flying monkey? Easy update, people!
So, Chyld's 2004...
January
The year started as I meant to continue it; up at midnight, pissed out of my face, in nothing but my boxers.
Well, the "in my boxers" thing didn't last the rest of the year, but you get my gist.
It carried on with me waking up in Brian's house, hungover as hell, asleep on a single armchair. Ah, what a way to live.
The only other prominant event of the month, apart from yet more delightful time in the hellhole we called Sixth Form, was going to London to see The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster play in what amounted to be a basement. Still, it was only £13 to get both me and CompleteAnarchy in...
Febuary
Only two significant happenings happened in this month, and they both happened at the same time. One was the America trip, the other was Valentines Day.
Like The Great Sarcastic Webmaster before me, I was being jettisoned from my country, from a quiet and introverted time of life, to sunny and foreign shores. The difference being, I wasn't staying there, I'd left the country before, and I wasn't able to drink there.
However, due to the arrival of Valentines Day, like him before me, I assumed that my landing from my final plane flight would result in me meeting my girlfriend. Since it was Valentines Day, and I in my folly was still arse-over-tit mad for K80. I therefore pumped my heart and soul into the most romantic Valentines Day card you could ever imagine, and a little sand thing which had a heart on it. And so, on Thursday the 12th, I left it with a good friend of hers, to deliver in my absense.
So I left the next day, with a song in my heart, and a bag full of clothes, and sadly no whiskey. Before I had the chance to leave, I recieved a "Thank You!" text from K80, and a text from the courier friend saying (almost exactly) "Why are you going away? You need to be here right now!"
In my language, given the circumstances, this usually means "You're due lots of sex, you lucky, lucky man!" surely? So, across the beaches of Venice Beach, the glamour of Hollywood, the lights of Vegas, and the majestic panorama of the Grand Canyon covered in snow, I was texting home trying to see just how lucky I was going to get.
I also practised my blogging skills by keeping a diary. Although it was very personal, and therefore totally unsuitable for publishing here. Unless you find me saying how much I love someone interesting reading, in which case there's probably about 100,000 odd LiveJournals you can look at...
On my return, it turned out I wasn't going to get lucky, nor did I have a girlfriend. But never mind, there was weed...
March
My birthday, of course! I became 18! Allowed to drink legally! I didn't get any groping time like I did at my last birthday party (even though she did look like the back end of a truck without the beer goggles), but I did get extremly drunk, had a joint, and introduced my half-digested dinner to the bar. Good times...
Also, Yahtzee showed his head again, baggsed a forum on Chefelf Night Life, and I moved into my current favourite forum of residence. Where I am an authority on absolutly nothing at all.
April
K80 ran the marathon, and Less Is More was created. This summerises the pertinant facts of the month.
What? Not every month in my life is crazy fun!
May
The last day of Sixth Form was marked by me being dragged round the school trying to sell Prom tickets, someone sticking a fish in the Common Room, and me coming inches away from sleeping with K80.
I spent an entire update writing about this, so there's no point repeating myself. Summery; I tried tickling her, she grabbed my arms, then once everyone had gotten too embaressed to stay much longer (the gropings did it, I think), she grabbed my face with hers. Next thing I know, I'm on a cricket pitch with no trousers on.
And naturally, given my track record, she decided that she didn't want either me or my babies, desipte my guesses to the contrary. My god, that made the idea of her being my prom date difficult...
June
The onset of exams led to SuperMarct becoming a paid-up guest updater, and a week of updates on aliens, festivals and camera phones.
Exams. Yes. Fun fun fun.
July
Ah yes, enough happened this month, and I documented it all.
K80 decided that being my prom date was too much hassle and pulled Brian (I'm not pissed off - he'd never been kissed by a girl before), the violent backlash forced me into mass drinkery on the barge holiday, where I found myself going out with TinyOne, this carried on into the week SuperMarct came over to meet the then-united "Less Is More Crew - Amersham And Surrounding Areas", she then dumped me the week afterwards. I didn't really speak to her again until September, when... but enough said for now. Don't want to piss anyone else off. Needless to say, there's a weeksworth of update on that month that'll tide you over if you really care that much...
August
Another action-packed month. I went to France for a fortnight, and discovered the fact that French cider is actually better than Strongbow (although I didn't realise at the time). The the day I got back, I discovered that - somehow - I'd got good enough marks to go to Hull University. This was celebrated by getting rat-arsed. The rat-arsedness spilled into Reading Festival, where each date can be summerised as follows:
Woke up
Drank
Watched bands
Drank some more
Watched bands
Went to CompleteAnarchy's tent and got stoned
Came back and slept
The good times. Also, this was the period when we were all playing Path To Glory - Warhammer mini-game where evil Chaos warbands batter each other senseless, in order to score points with which to improve their warband and batter other warbands senseless, in an everlasting vicious circle...
September
And thus, on the Great Plane Crash Day, I moved away from home and up north 215 miles. "Jennings" was abandoned, in favour of various permutations of "Jagger". Hair straighteners were actually brought into contact with my hair, to great effect. My messy room at home, was substituted for half of a double room being knee-deep in studenty clutter. I could actually get into my own bed without having to climb a ladder. I was revered for my nonsense, instead of recieving curious looks. I could actually claim "Yes, I am a student", with all the benefits that this entails. I actually went to nightclubs...
October
...until I managed to spend all of my student loan. £1100 is not THAT easy to spend all in one month, unless you drink as much as I managed to.
November
I spent most of this month living off of one meal a day, not really going 0ut, attached to my laptop. Until parental donations buoyed up the funds, at which point the assesed essays raised their heads. 10,000 words of essays, stories and analysises. Lovely stuff, tempered only by frequent nights in Spiders nightclub.
December
The prodgial son deigned his home with its presense this month. And for some reason, no one saw fit to give him Christmas work. I'll have the last laugh, however - when I come back for Easter, I'll fucking murder them all!
So, a quiet year, then? Hell no! And it isn't going to be any quieter next year!
So, Chyld's 2004...
January
The year started as I meant to continue it; up at midnight, pissed out of my face, in nothing but my boxers.
Well, the "in my boxers" thing didn't last the rest of the year, but you get my gist.
It carried on with me waking up in Brian's house, hungover as hell, asleep on a single armchair. Ah, what a way to live.
The only other prominant event of the month, apart from yet more delightful time in the hellhole we called Sixth Form, was going to London to see The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster play in what amounted to be a basement. Still, it was only £13 to get both me and CompleteAnarchy in...
Febuary
Only two significant happenings happened in this month, and they both happened at the same time. One was the America trip, the other was Valentines Day.
Like The Great Sarcastic Webmaster before me, I was being jettisoned from my country, from a quiet and introverted time of life, to sunny and foreign shores. The difference being, I wasn't staying there, I'd left the country before, and I wasn't able to drink there.
However, due to the arrival of Valentines Day, like him before me, I assumed that my landing from my final plane flight would result in me meeting my girlfriend. Since it was Valentines Day, and I in my folly was still arse-over-tit mad for K80. I therefore pumped my heart and soul into the most romantic Valentines Day card you could ever imagine, and a little sand thing which had a heart on it. And so, on Thursday the 12th, I left it with a good friend of hers, to deliver in my absense.
So I left the next day, with a song in my heart, and a bag full of clothes, and sadly no whiskey. Before I had the chance to leave, I recieved a "Thank You!" text from K80, and a text from the courier friend saying (almost exactly) "Why are you going away? You need to be here right now!"
In my language, given the circumstances, this usually means "You're due lots of sex, you lucky, lucky man!" surely? So, across the beaches of Venice Beach, the glamour of Hollywood, the lights of Vegas, and the majestic panorama of the Grand Canyon covered in snow, I was texting home trying to see just how lucky I was going to get.
I also practised my blogging skills by keeping a diary. Although it was very personal, and therefore totally unsuitable for publishing here. Unless you find me saying how much I love someone interesting reading, in which case there's probably about 100,000 odd LiveJournals you can look at...
On my return, it turned out I wasn't going to get lucky, nor did I have a girlfriend. But never mind, there was weed...
March
My birthday, of course! I became 18! Allowed to drink legally! I didn't get any groping time like I did at my last birthday party (even though she did look like the back end of a truck without the beer goggles), but I did get extremly drunk, had a joint, and introduced my half-digested dinner to the bar. Good times...
Also, Yahtzee showed his head again, baggsed a forum on Chefelf Night Life, and I moved into my current favourite forum of residence. Where I am an authority on absolutly nothing at all.
April
K80 ran the marathon, and Less Is More was created. This summerises the pertinant facts of the month.
What? Not every month in my life is crazy fun!
May
The last day of Sixth Form was marked by me being dragged round the school trying to sell Prom tickets, someone sticking a fish in the Common Room, and me coming inches away from sleeping with K80.
I spent an entire update writing about this, so there's no point repeating myself. Summery; I tried tickling her, she grabbed my arms, then once everyone had gotten too embaressed to stay much longer (the gropings did it, I think), she grabbed my face with hers. Next thing I know, I'm on a cricket pitch with no trousers on.
And naturally, given my track record, she decided that she didn't want either me or my babies, desipte my guesses to the contrary. My god, that made the idea of her being my prom date difficult...
June
The onset of exams led to SuperMarct becoming a paid-up guest updater, and a week of updates on aliens, festivals and camera phones.
Exams. Yes. Fun fun fun.
July
Ah yes, enough happened this month, and I documented it all.
K80 decided that being my prom date was too much hassle and pulled Brian (I'm not pissed off - he'd never been kissed by a girl before), the violent backlash forced me into mass drinkery on the barge holiday, where I found myself going out with TinyOne, this carried on into the week SuperMarct came over to meet the then-united "Less Is More Crew - Amersham And Surrounding Areas", she then dumped me the week afterwards. I didn't really speak to her again until September, when... but enough said for now. Don't want to piss anyone else off. Needless to say, there's a weeksworth of update on that month that'll tide you over if you really care that much...
August
Another action-packed month. I went to France for a fortnight, and discovered the fact that French cider is actually better than Strongbow (although I didn't realise at the time). The the day I got back, I discovered that - somehow - I'd got good enough marks to go to Hull University. This was celebrated by getting rat-arsed. The rat-arsedness spilled into Reading Festival, where each date can be summerised as follows:
Woke up
Drank
Watched bands
Drank some more
Watched bands
Went to CompleteAnarchy's tent and got stoned
Came back and slept
The good times. Also, this was the period when we were all playing Path To Glory - Warhammer mini-game where evil Chaos warbands batter each other senseless, in order to score points with which to improve their warband and batter other warbands senseless, in an everlasting vicious circle...
September
And thus, on the Great Plane Crash Day, I moved away from home and up north 215 miles. "Jennings" was abandoned, in favour of various permutations of "Jagger". Hair straighteners were actually brought into contact with my hair, to great effect. My messy room at home, was substituted for half of a double room being knee-deep in studenty clutter. I could actually get into my own bed without having to climb a ladder. I was revered for my nonsense, instead of recieving curious looks. I could actually claim "Yes, I am a student", with all the benefits that this entails. I actually went to nightclubs...
October
...until I managed to spend all of my student loan. £1100 is not THAT easy to spend all in one month, unless you drink as much as I managed to.
November
I spent most of this month living off of one meal a day, not really going 0ut, attached to my laptop. Until parental donations buoyed up the funds, at which point the assesed essays raised their heads. 10,000 words of essays, stories and analysises. Lovely stuff, tempered only by frequent nights in Spiders nightclub.
December
The prodgial son deigned his home with its presense this month. And for some reason, no one saw fit to give him Christmas work. I'll have the last laugh, however - when I come back for Easter, I'll fucking murder them all!
So, a quiet year, then? Hell no! And it isn't going to be any quieter next year!
