Thursday, December 23
More women of the world
I actually enjoyed yesterday’s update by Chyldio. Though I don’t think we need to be too picky, Mister Chyld. Besides that the format is all wrong. I dated a lot of different types of girls, so I can know. It is not about the qualities the gals don’t have, it’s about the qualities they do have. And with qualities I don’t really mean good cooking skills and really soft skin, I mean the negative meaning of quality. You’ll find the Ten Be’s that you shouldn’t ‘be’.
Uno: Be a cheat
Normally guys cheat on girls and girls will cry. I have never cheated and don’t think I ever will, so I like girls that don’t cheat on me. Though I’m not going to cry (at least when someone’s around).
Dos: Be one that dislikes me
A lot of people dislike me. But I know some people like me. A few like me a lot, but until you spend a whole week with me you can really judge. My friends used to call me ‘major fuck-up’ and I have to admit it wasn’t without a reason. I remember getting phone numbers for the cutest girls and I simply lost them. Anyway, people think mostly I’m a funny guy. And I agree. But remember coping 24/7 with my sicko jokes can be quite a task.
Tres: Be ugly
Of course I like you to be nice in the first place, but you’ll have to have a bit of cuteness…
Cuatro: Be a fan of crap music
Of course I can’t judge anyone’s taste of music, I like punkrock and pop punk for God’s sake! But really if you look as stunning as Claudia Schiffer does but you like rap, I won’t dig you! I mean come on, I won’t date you if you ask me: ‘Who are those Beatles dudes you keep talking about?’
Cinco: Be lame
You don’t need to have the best sense of humour on earth (you can’t even have it, I already took that), but I once dated a girl who didn’t laugh a single time all evening. If a waiter falls in a plate of soup, that just is funny and you need to laugh about it. Being lame really is a no-go.
Seis: Be a stink
I shower and use deodorant! I don’t smell, now why do you stink like the arse of a dead squirrel?
Siete: Be an amateur cell phone photographer
There are a few things I dislike. And cell phones that take photos is on third spot. You can call me anytime. Anytime of the day. I don’t care. But stop taking pictures of me with a cell phone all the time!!
Ocho: Be very tall
Hey, I’m not that tall! You shouldn’t be either. If I want something I’ll go to the zoo to watch giraffes. No I don’t have a dwarf fetish! Be gone you!
Nueve: Be a sleepyhead
Okay, you will probably sleep more than I do, but I dislike it when you sleep ten hours a night. It’ll mean you’re going to bed like… at daylight… stop doing such things. Sleep is overrated anyway.
Diez: Be shy
This is not really a point that I hate or something. You got to remember though that I have a big mouth. And I will make fun off you, you got to get me back or you’ll end up with a rope around you neck and… well, you get the point. Don’t be shy.
So, don’t do these things and we will live a happy three weeks. You’ll lose your sanity within a month, but always remember: it will be the most bizarre three weeks of your life!
Ps once is: Be an Olympic swimmer. I don’t care if you go swimming, but if you like it, you probably ask me to come with you. I dislike swimming more than cell phones that take pictures.
Uno: Be a cheat
Normally guys cheat on girls and girls will cry. I have never cheated and don’t think I ever will, so I like girls that don’t cheat on me. Though I’m not going to cry (at least when someone’s around).
Dos: Be one that dislikes me
A lot of people dislike me. But I know some people like me. A few like me a lot, but until you spend a whole week with me you can really judge. My friends used to call me ‘major fuck-up’ and I have to admit it wasn’t without a reason. I remember getting phone numbers for the cutest girls and I simply lost them. Anyway, people think mostly I’m a funny guy. And I agree. But remember coping 24/7 with my sicko jokes can be quite a task.
Tres: Be ugly
Of course I like you to be nice in the first place, but you’ll have to have a bit of cuteness…
Cuatro: Be a fan of crap music
Of course I can’t judge anyone’s taste of music, I like punkrock and pop punk for God’s sake! But really if you look as stunning as Claudia Schiffer does but you like rap, I won’t dig you! I mean come on, I won’t date you if you ask me: ‘Who are those Beatles dudes you keep talking about?’
Cinco: Be lame
You don’t need to have the best sense of humour on earth (you can’t even have it, I already took that), but I once dated a girl who didn’t laugh a single time all evening. If a waiter falls in a plate of soup, that just is funny and you need to laugh about it. Being lame really is a no-go.
Seis: Be a stink
I shower and use deodorant! I don’t smell, now why do you stink like the arse of a dead squirrel?
Siete: Be an amateur cell phone photographer
There are a few things I dislike. And cell phones that take photos is on third spot. You can call me anytime. Anytime of the day. I don’t care. But stop taking pictures of me with a cell phone all the time!!
Ocho: Be very tall
Hey, I’m not that tall! You shouldn’t be either. If I want something I’ll go to the zoo to watch giraffes. No I don’t have a dwarf fetish! Be gone you!
Nueve: Be a sleepyhead
Okay, you will probably sleep more than I do, but I dislike it when you sleep ten hours a night. It’ll mean you’re going to bed like… at daylight… stop doing such things. Sleep is overrated anyway.
Diez: Be shy
This is not really a point that I hate or something. You got to remember though that I have a big mouth. And I will make fun off you, you got to get me back or you’ll end up with a rope around you neck and… well, you get the point. Don’t be shy.
So, don’t do these things and we will live a happy three weeks. You’ll lose your sanity within a month, but always remember: it will be the most bizarre three weeks of your life!
Ps once is: Be an Olympic swimmer. I don’t care if you go swimming, but if you like it, you probably ask me to come with you. I dislike swimming more than cell phones that take pictures.
