Friday, May 7
SM Tzu's "The Art of Flirting"
I haven't had time to proof this at all, since I need to do work myself, and prepare to, erm, "go to the pub". Yes. All I can tell is that its SM and his womanising, which seems to extend beyond my close friends. Don't worry, I'll be back on Monday. Chyld
I’ve never been a woman, so this probably is going to be a kind of guy thing. All the girls can ridicule me when I’m all wrong. Here we go:
When are you actually a good flirter? When you always get the target in bed? I think not… Even better I think flirting has nothing to do with love at all? Flirting is all about having a good time and just fool around a bit with the opposite sex. Well, that’s what it used to be. Nowadays the opposite part is not must for everyone. We life in a modern world, children. Anyway… You can’t convince me you home with someone because of a wicked one-liner!
People who have friends that are single make up those one-liners. I lost you here? Let me give you an example…
The guy says to the girl: “How do you like your breakfast tomorrow morning?”
Or another one:
A guy walks to a girl, looks her in the eyes. Then he puts a finger in his mouth, wets it and wipes it off on the girl’s blouse. Then he says: “You don’t want to get ill, let me help you get rid of these wet clothes!”
The point is, when a complete brain-dead psycho says something like this to a girl, it’s ten to one that the girl smashes him with a barstool or something heavier on the head. And that, my children, is fun for spectators! So, people who already got a girl/boy make the one-liners all up.
So, those stupid one-liners forget about them. They are stupid, pathetic and won’t ever work.
Now, what is a good thing to do? Maybe it’s better if there are any girls reading, that they stop reading… this is some guy-only info… You cute girls can read further at the next paragraph…
You see two friends chatting and drinking in a club. The first is really cute and gorgeous and hot and things and you want her. You don’t just want her, you really, really want her. Her friend on the other hand is not that cute and pretty. As a matter of fact she is kind of fat and has red hair (-this is something personal). Now, to whom are you going to talk first?
I’ll just give you some time to think… take your time.
Of course you’re going talk to the fat redhead! Why you ask? Because then the hot girl thinks: “Hey, that’s a nice guy. He even talks to the hobbit I brought with me.” And that’s the moment where you strike! Good job!
But let’s get a bit serious. When are you a perfect flirter? My answer is: BE ORGINAL! But, at all times, stay you!
The other day I went with my class partying. The whole class was there, and things were boring as never before. And what will happen as things are boring as hell? Indeed, the schizo enters… My good old friend Meat Loaf just started his Paradise on the Dashboardlight and so I took the hand of a cute girl and we went dancing. And all the tough guys laughed and pointed at me. But halfway the song, which by the way lasts an astonishing 8 minutes and 29 seconds, some more girls joined me… and some more… and some more… In the end it was just I and around twenty-five girls on stage, and all the tough guys? They didn’t point and laugh no more. What’s the lesson? Do something original and laugh in the end at the pathetic losers who act tough!
This is it for now. Go practice my little Casanovas!
I’ve never been a woman, so this probably is going to be a kind of guy thing. All the girls can ridicule me when I’m all wrong. Here we go:
When are you actually a good flirter? When you always get the target in bed? I think not… Even better I think flirting has nothing to do with love at all? Flirting is all about having a good time and just fool around a bit with the opposite sex. Well, that’s what it used to be. Nowadays the opposite part is not must for everyone. We life in a modern world, children. Anyway… You can’t convince me you home with someone because of a wicked one-liner!
People who have friends that are single make up those one-liners. I lost you here? Let me give you an example…
The guy says to the girl: “How do you like your breakfast tomorrow morning?”
Or another one:
A guy walks to a girl, looks her in the eyes. Then he puts a finger in his mouth, wets it and wipes it off on the girl’s blouse. Then he says: “You don’t want to get ill, let me help you get rid of these wet clothes!”
The point is, when a complete brain-dead psycho says something like this to a girl, it’s ten to one that the girl smashes him with a barstool or something heavier on the head. And that, my children, is fun for spectators! So, people who already got a girl/boy make the one-liners all up.
So, those stupid one-liners forget about them. They are stupid, pathetic and won’t ever work.
Now, what is a good thing to do? Maybe it’s better if there are any girls reading, that they stop reading… this is some guy-only info… You cute girls can read further at the next paragraph…
You see two friends chatting and drinking in a club. The first is really cute and gorgeous and hot and things and you want her. You don’t just want her, you really, really want her. Her friend on the other hand is not that cute and pretty. As a matter of fact she is kind of fat and has red hair (-this is something personal). Now, to whom are you going to talk first?
I’ll just give you some time to think… take your time.
Of course you’re going talk to the fat redhead! Why you ask? Because then the hot girl thinks: “Hey, that’s a nice guy. He even talks to the hobbit I brought with me.” And that’s the moment where you strike! Good job!
But let’s get a bit serious. When are you a perfect flirter? My answer is: BE ORGINAL! But, at all times, stay you!
The other day I went with my class partying. The whole class was there, and things were boring as never before. And what will happen as things are boring as hell? Indeed, the schizo enters… My good old friend Meat Loaf just started his Paradise on the Dashboardlight and so I took the hand of a cute girl and we went dancing. And all the tough guys laughed and pointed at me. But halfway the song, which by the way lasts an astonishing 8 minutes and 29 seconds, some more girls joined me… and some more… and some more… In the end it was just I and around twenty-five girls on stage, and all the tough guys? They didn’t point and laugh no more. What’s the lesson? Do something original and laugh in the end at the pathetic losers who act tough!
This is it for now. Go practice my little Casanovas!
